Just received un-edited pictures of the new Hashmaster!
And… a post handover picture of what appears to be the former hashmaster!
Hareline:
The Pre-Run: A large pack of 28 current and former Southsiders plus visitors arrived on time at Queen’s Pier for the mandated 1 p.m. boat departure. Noted missing included Spiderman, Ali McBeal, Dangerman, Reggie, Ronnie, Trolly Dolly, Perfume Poofer, The Pope, Mullet, Leak on U – but to name a few. All not in attendance were missed. But 1 p.m. came and went while the boat and pack patiently waited for the beer man to show up, the co-hare stood alone in the parking lot looking forlornly eastwards while awaiting the promised delivery. Noteworthy selected “potential chances of being HM” quotes from the pack while awaiting arrival of the beer……. Jack Off - “I’m counting on not being HM. If I get it, I would resign Monday morning” Cabbage – “Zero” Ice – “Well, if they cannot get a big enough soapbox for JO, then I think I am in the running” Smallbone – “My chances are 50%, but I think it will be Cabbage” Camel – “I think it’s a 3 horse race” Hugh Watt – “F*ck off!” Of course, the beer man eventually did arrive, and the junk and the pack set out for a mystery island in the South China Sea. Not surprisingly, having worked up a thirst, a few of the gentlemen, and Coco, began hydrating themselves in preparation for the run. The long journey also afforded the gentlemen ample time to catch up on the latest business and social news. While ET nodded off while reading the daily funnies and Tinks had a particularly interesting discussion on the merits of various running shoes and where they Smallbone, Jack Off, Saddle could be obtained at the lowest cost. Coco was so impressed, he had another beer. Arriving at “one of 5 Lantau piers”, the pack was instructed by the hare, Camel, that the prison before us was not for housing of the present hashmaster. We were to give he and Pugak (his co-hare) a 10 minute walking head start to the first check. Then, and only then, could the pack start running. Smallbone immediately set his watch for the countdown while the rest of the pack, waiting on the dock, watched the hares leisurely stroll across the prison beach and off into the distance. At the appointed time the call was made with Saddle and Cabbage quickly walking into the lead with Whippy, Rearender, McShite and Moose bringing up the rear (so to speak). The Run: A clever initial road check immediately split Cabbage and Jack Off from the initial front running Ice and the rest of the pack. Had the two wayward runners gone 10 more steps they would have found the On-On across from the dam that they then had to circle around to catch back up to the pack. The trail then seemed to stretch endlessly upwards with countless steps and all the while roasting in the sun, which had at this point decided to make an appearance. On several notable occasions Haggis demonstrated his true pack and trail running knowledge by completely blowing several key checks. While the pack, led by Saddle, meandered about in the shiggy and on empty trails there were a number of comments to be heard regarding Haggis, the hares, and the run in general… none of them good. At least these delays served to keep the pack together and allowed the likes of Whippy, Moose, ET, and McShite to close the gap with the balance of the pack. Seldom seen were Smegma (what else is new..), Emma Royde, and Coco so we must presume they were either in the front or way behind. Only they know for sure! Quite a number of the pack suffered the effects of sun, Friday night and the altitude. Dogbite, Kiwi, Tinks, Dr. Evil, and Creamer struggled upwards until the last major check but still managed to pass Hugh Watt on several occasions. Although Ice was heard calling in the distance, the pack struggled for quite awhile at this last check. No one was sure whether to continue upwards Yi Long Wan or downhill towards Tai Long Wan. Finally, it was determined to go left, but not before Caligula nearly headed back downhill on a faint shiggy path. Home, and the beach were found shortly thereafter, as the pack ran through a small village and the remains of the long gone Frog and Toad bar. Most were home in about the promised 45 minutes with Moose, ET, and McShite, beating Rearender in for last in honors at over 1 hour. The Circle: After collecting of gear, drinks, a brief dip in the ocean, much standing around, and some fast groping for the Xcellent stash provided by, what must be believed as from someone other than Hash Stash, Hugh Watt attempted to call the circle to order. He was immediately told to F*ck off. A few minutes later, he tried again, this time with success. Potential Amahs were announced as Whippy, Haggis, and Moose. No question – Haggis is the winner. Pugak started the proceedings: Down Downs
Awards
Down Downs - again
Tinks hands out some….
Down Downs - again
Visiting Hashmaster
On On to the Meal at the Lamma Hilton…….
Things are quickly going downhill now……
The new and better Committee is named:
Namings are frequently interrupted by: The new Hash Master, Smallbone, takes Control.
A salute to Squeak, Rearender and Tinks (or at least that’s what my notes say…) they should have got it. The Hashmaster, Smallbone, dispenses a number of well deserved down downs to the pack… which all will undoubtedly never forget so why repeat them here.
The Vice Master, Kiwi Sausage, dishes out a few:
Smallbone resumes:
The Vice Master, Kiwi Sausage dishes out more:
Smallbone takes over again:
Ex-Hashmaster Toasts
New Circle on the boat……
The boat mercifully docks in Central and the pack pours out for more mischief in Wanchai………………
The Seven Dwarfs The Seven Dwarfs went to the Bremar Hill, and got ushered in to see the Pope. ICE led the pack. "ICE, my son," said the Pope, "what can I do for you?" ICE asked, "Excuse me, Your Eminence, but are there any dwarf nuns in Hong Kong?" The Pope wrinkled his brow at the odd question, thought for a moment and answered, "No ICE, there are no dwarf nuns in Hong Kong." In the background the dwarfs started giggling. ICE turned around and gave them a fiery stare, silencing them. ICE turned back to the Pope. "Your Holiness, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Asia?" The Pope, puzzled again, answered, "No ICE, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Asia." This time, all the dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, ICE turned around and silenced them all with an angry stare. ICE turned back to the Pope and said, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole of Scotland?" The Pope answered, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world, especially Scotland." The other dwarfs collapsed into a heap, rolling and laughing, tears running down their cheeks as they began chanting: "ICE screwed a penguin, ICE screwed a penguin!" Awards:
Spiderman walks into the bedroom with a
sheep under his arm, his wife Snapperhead is lying in bed reading. Sports Section:
Link of the Week:
Health Warning: Hashing will most likely offend you and will definitely affect your Health. You may die while on a Hash or as a result of associating with Southsiders or by just crossing the road in Wanchai. The Southside accepts no responsibility for any accident, injury or death to you or anyone else. You have been warned. On – On STFU & Jack Off(It will be an absolute pleasure serving this committee!)Disclaimer: There are many controversial subjects related to the newsletter. For instance, the newsletter contains comments, pictures, figures, etc about whatever the scribes feel like including. This fact does not imply we support, agree, or like them. Any opinion expressed by anyone about a controversial subject is to be considered his/her own personal opinion, not the opinion of anyone else. The fact that some images may be used in other websites or other media should not be considered as an endorsement by the scribes for any opinion expressed nor of the images posted herein. You have been warned. |
