ROYAL SOUTH SIDE
HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
RUN 1520, 1 July 2003
Belated Canuck Day Run
Sai Kung Canadian/USA “Parkette”
Hares: Ewe Wot? & Moosef*cker
"The following is a true record of events as
narrated by Gentlemen of the Hash."
7 done, 45 of these damn things left. Taking a breather
from their diet of Maple Syrup, Back bacon, Seagram's 7 and Henry Horton's
Donuts, the resident Canucks decide to set a run. The conversation
probably went something like this: U Watt?: "So, let's set a run, Eh?" Moose: "Okay.
Hey, loan me your lighter for a second, Eh?" Wish they hadn't
bothered. (more on that later - Ed.)
The Run
Okay Pope: It's TOO F*CKING HOT!!! No rain though. An unusually small pack including Bare Rabbit, ET and Mr. Whippy & Son gathered for this Family Day run in an interesting area of Sai Kung. We were all happy to see that Reg & Ronnie had brought along Jenny, a much prettier girl than Reg & Ronnie's rump ranger flat mate - Reg & Ronnie. Once we all finally found the Canadian Parkette at the near top of one of the area's many hills, Hugh What? assembled us for the pre-run briefing. We should have known ominous doings were afoot. The run was to be an "A to B" with a nice pool finish at Hugh What?'s place. He informed us that he and Moose had been out "Recce-ing" a few days before and what would have originally been a two hour run had mercifully been shortened to twenty minutes for the FRB's.
In this case "Recce-ing" actually meant pre-laying the first part of the run. This turned out to be such a monumental cock-up that those of you who weren't there should be thankful. Hugh What? pointed us back down the hill and we were off. Down to the bottom and the first check at the main road. Turns out it was over, followed by a brief sprint along the road to the next check.
We were all greeted by Moose, who happily waved as we trotted by. (BASTARD! - Ed.) At this second check the pack promptly found the trail on up into the hills toward Hiram's Highway, following On-On's the whole way. About ¾ of a mile up some VERY steep hills, the markings petered out to nothing. This led to the ENTIRE PACK (except Camel who had f*cked off home early, the only smart one amongst us - Ed.), checking for no less than 30 MINUTES in this area. Back and forth, up and down, again and again - Nothing. The pack, (especially Smallbone), was getting angrier by the minute. The decision was made to go back down to the bottom and look for chalk at the second check. Pugak & Smallbone were first there and immediately found chalk beneath the underpass leading us in the direction of U Watt?'s. The rest of the pack was soon in hot pursuit, led by Saddle Sniffer, Dick the Shit and Emma Royd. Tinks, Bobbledick, Perfumed Poofter, Reg & Ronnie and honorary gentlemen - Jenny & Mercy were not far behind.
Turns
out the hares had failed to false-off the pre-laid trail, which we should
never have reached to begin with. Although they both pointed fingers
in the other's direction when asked who was responsible. Anyway, on-home
finally to Ewe Wot?'s with him providing taxi service to willing parties
slogging up the hill. Straight
into the pool and the beer, it didn't take long for the pack to cool down. Of
course, Camel had been "pruning-up" with a cold one in the pool for about
40 minutes by the time we all arrived at approximately 1 hour, 15 minutes. It
was universally decided that the lazy bastards had really f*cked-up and the
run was declared a massive Bag of Beaver Poo. This, believe
it or not was even worse than that pile of crap set by Dangerman a
couple of weeks ago. Dangerman
and wife were also in attendance for this run by the way.
The Circle
With no sign of Smegma, Saddle Sniffer calls
the pack to order proclaiming it a "Guest-Host" down-down day. (Well,
you know he's not really in charge - Ed.)
The Hares - using
The Willy (!), for select DD's today.
Reg & Ronnie - for
bringing Jenny.
Reg & Ronnie - again,
for bringing Jenny.
Canada Day - On-In U Watt? & Moose.
Camel - time to grease him 2X.
Dangerman - better keep his daughter away
from Camel in the pool.
Red Mullet - he and Red Snapper just arrived after Mr. Moneybags bought yet another piece of property in Koh
Samui.
Smallbone's circle.
Red Mullet & Red Snapper - non runners.
Periodical - Moose drinks for her for her
fabulous bikini.
Perfumed Poofter - no towel yet again (cheap bastard - Ed.)
ET's circle.
Bobbledick - cheap c*nt never pays.
Dick the Shit - we all wish he'd go home.
PK/Brer Rabbit/Bare Rabbit/Whatever his damn name is - rolling in the dough??
Saddle again takes over.
Pugak - has a bad phone, or maybe it's
his hearing...
Cabbage - new sprout in the patch. Congratulations Mr & Mrs
Cab!!!
Pugak does a few.
Reg & Ronnie - conceited girlfriend won't talk
to Pugak (via The Willy).
Hugh What - offered Pugak a "ride".
Moose - thinks
Pugak's just too damn good lookin'.
Red Mullet - smart man to miss today's run.
Camel - greased again.
Moose's Wife - Donna's Home Grooming Regimen...
Camel distributes a few.
U What? - can't get enough dates.
Smallbone - committing blasphemy by telling people that Camel's run
was shite.
Mr. Whippy & Red Mullet - backstabbing, Koh Samui shirt producing pricks.
Saddle again.
Perfumed Poofter - can't open his own beer can /
has Mercy do it for him.
Pugak again.
Dick the Shit - left 73 towels he stole from Kal
Sai Chow golf course at Pugak's flat.
Moose hands one out.
Camel - needs greased again, vie The Willy.
Saddle again.
The Hares - SHITE! run.
PK - ?
Smallbone again.
Dick the Shit - had a dump before the run instead
of his customary halfway round.
Dangerman - candy-ass cultural sensitivity
neckie down down.
Reg & Ronnie - talking during Smallbone's circle.
Dick the Shit - talking during Smallbone's circle.
Hugh What? - why was he only offering rides
to the BOYS going up the hill ?....
ET again.
Camel & Tinkerbell - confused runners today.
Saddle again.
Cabbage - next weeks run: HK Parkview BBQ
Pits (usual spot - Ed.)
Red Mullet - upcoming Koh Samui / Koh Phangan
run announcement.
Moose - set the run using chalk he swiped from the school.
All the Ladies - being
honorary gentlemen.
Camel - degreased thank God.
Breaking News
No Breaking News this week as our roving reporter is "On Assignment" i.e.: Currently too busy having a shag in Bangkok to be bothered to write anything.
However, your trusty scribes have been collecting data on numbers of DD"s per individual and some interesting results have come forth. Here are the Top Five Down-Down Awardees so far during Smegma's Reign. These numbers will be periodically updated throughout the year. (Just goes to show you who the stupid bastards are who can't keep their mouths shut - Ed.)
1. Camel & Small Bone - 15 DD's each.
2. Red Mullet, U C*nt & Squeak - 13 DD's each.
3. Pugak & Moose - 11 DD's each.
4. Perfumed Poofter & Dangerman - 10 DD's each.
5. Spiderman, Anus & Reg & Ronnie * - 9 DD's each.
Receding Hareline:
|
1521 |
03-Jul-03 |
Leak on Yew |
Parkview BBQ Pits |
|
1522 |
10-Jul-03 |
Squeak/Dingaling |
Sha Tin KCR (7:00pm start) |
|
1523 |
17-Jul-03 |
Mr. Whippy |
Lam Tin |
|
1524 |
24-Jul-03 |
Open |
Contact Cabbage |
|
1525 |
31-Jul-03 |
Open |
Contact Cabbage |
|
1526 |
07-Aug-03 |
Small Bone |
Mei Foo MTR - "A" to "B" |
|
1527 |
14-Aug-03 |
Jack Off John |
?? |
|
1528 |
21-Aug-03 |
E.T. |
Po Lam MTR |
|
1529 |
28-Aug-03 |
Hugh What? |
Sai Kung Country Park |
|
1530 |
04-Sep-03 |
The Pope |
Kai Tak Carpark (top floor) |
|
1531 |
11-Sep-03 |
Open |
Contact Cabbage |
Upcoming Tours:
RS2H3 Phuket Tour
Dates: Depart HK Wed 10 Sept pm. Return Sun 14 Sept. Attendees will require 1.5 or 2 days leave depending on flight times (to be confirmed).
Approx Cost: HK$3000 max for flight and hotel depending whether direct charter is available and a min group of 10 hashers traveling.
Are you on?
Please contact ET directly ASAP to confirm attendance.
Shekou
Although not an official tour, a few of the boys will be going to Shekou 5 July for Satan Himself's FOYC hash with Shekou. Meet at Macau Ferry Terminal Saturday, 5 July at 11:00 for 11:30 departure.
Disclaimer:
Get a life you bastards.
Pugak & Small Bone