ROYAL SOUTH SIDE

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
RUN 1522, 10 July 2003
Squeak & Dingaling’s Sha Tin Special
Sha Tin MTR
Hares: Squeak & Dingaling

"The following is a true record of events as narrated by Gentlemen of the Hash."...

9 down, 45 to go. Yee-haw. This week's run was hared by none other than Squeak the Mouse and his partner in crime - Dingaling, who was seen shamelessly trying to flog off surplus T8 Hash Stash before the circle. The Pope more or less provided a decent evening. A few brief sprinkles were all that materialized of what was a torrential downpour on the South Coast of the Island. The run finally commenced with a medium size pack about 7:00 PM. C'mon boys, what's with the starts getting later and later? Let's get the show on the road. There's beer to be drunk. On-On to the run.

Red Mullet Interviews a new secretarial candidate!

"Well, you are wet and tight, but I'm concerned about your lack of computer skills!"

The Run

Squeak's and Dingaling's 10 July Run.

Following somewhat worrying instructions by Squeak with backing vocals from Dingaling, the pack set off across the playground and headed for the KCR rails. Immediately we hit a check, which kept the pack milling about aimlessly for approximately 5 minutes. Yours truly passed Whippy, Ronnie and ET no less than four times while scrambling around looking for trail. Even Camel ended up near the back of the pack when the On-On was finally found running alongside the tracks heading South. Latecomer - Spiderman managed to twist his ankle while leaping from step to step in an effort to find the correct path. Seems the eight-legged superhero is following in the footsteps of Red Mullet since he's getting on in years. Rarely a week goes by without him hurting himself!

On-Up was to be the popular theme for the first 30 DAMN MINUTES of this debacle. While Smallbone, Kiwi Sausage, Perfumed Poofter (currently twice the man he once was! - Ed.) and Reggie were slogging their way up the mountain, Cabbage was seen near the top shouting something to the effect of "On-Up you miserable bastards!" Just to make us feel better of course.

Visiting N2TH3 boys Rain Man and Homo Pigeon seemed to be enjoying themselves. On-Up to a sharp leftie found us being greeted by Dingaling asking us what we thought so far. (Bag of Poo springs to mind - Ed.) So it was On-Left with a whole lot more up to go. The trail was getting a bit confusing as a few of us caught up with wheezing old guys - Dogbite and Trolley Dolly. However, the On-On was discovered and it was finally On-Down

Tinkerbell and visitor - Guy Bridges, (he owns The Bridge - ask for a discount! - Ed.) were way out front and picking up steam as they came trotting in at the front of the pack. Only to find SCB's - Mr.Whippy, Ronnie and ET already quenching their thirsts. The bulk of the pack came in at just about one hour, as the hares had correctly predicted. Latecomer - U C*nt came blazing in just ahead of non-running fitness god - Bouncy Tits, recently returned from a deep-fried, high cholesterol jaunt through the southern portion of the Good Ole US of A, BY GOD. All in all a good run, good markings with very appropriate length. Well-done gentlemen. On-On to the circle.

Mr. Whippy's new "Palm Pilot"!

The Circle

Smeg's calls the pack to order.
Homo Pigeon is promptly greased as Amah.
Rain Man - On-In for disrespecting the HM.
Reg & Ronnie - they Ahem, "Misplaced" the brandy from last week's Gentleman's evening.
Spiderman - wine smuggling via his diplomatic immunity.
The Hares - crap run.
Squeak the Mouse - no roving Amah's available this week to massage his privates.
Bouncy Tits & Dingaling - returnees.
Rearender - visitor. No, unfortunately not the one you're thinking of, this ones a guy.
Guy Bridges - visitor.
Time to grease Homo Pigeon.
Whippy - Whingeing as usual.
Camel - bitching about last week's axcellent fish and chips.

Camel's circle.
Dogbite - Gorgonzola having a catfight with Butterfly at The Bridge. (Time to shorten her leash, so to speak?! - Ed.)
Smeg's returns.
Kiwi Sausage - still in lust with Nose Vibrator even after she revealed his tiny penis problem to the world.
Small Bone - some spurious call which was un-deserved.

Small Bone takes charge.
Camel - can't score a Tuna Taco this week if his life depended on it.
Rain Man - knows how to pick the ones with fresh breath.
Kiwi Sausage and Spiderman - Just what part of the sheep is the "Slipstream" anyway?

Smeg's again.
Grease the Pigeon.
ET - likes the ladyboys.
Spiderman - likes the tall urinals. Note: Spiderman also receives Neckie of the Week for this call, although I have no idea why - Ed.
On-In the shirtless Poofs - Squeak, Reggie and U C*nt.
Rainman - caught smelling someone's breath.
Tinks - thought it was a good run.
Bouncy Tits - for the being the cowardly American's representative.
Dogbite - he and Gorgonzola are in a "Love/Hate Relationship", he apparently Loves being treated like shit and she just Hates him.
Rainman - just because he's an easy target.
Guy Bridges - overcharging at The Bridge.
Squeak - just because he's an easy target.
Dogbite - Dog breath.
Homo gets greased.
U C*nt Last in.
Hares - have no idea how long it really takes to get from Central to Sha Tin.
Camel - On-In to explain his upcoming "Paddle My Ass Tour".
Dogbite - next weeks run?
Whippy - explains next week's run is on the website.
Kiwi Sausage - for the being the cheap c*nt that he is.
Bouncy Tits - has no idea what Autopay is.
The Homo Pigeon gets de-greased.

On to Wanchai for some additional sustenance.

"Don't be nervous kid. I've broken-in hundreds of first-timers!."

Breaking News

Still nothing from that worthless bastard Pugak.

Receding Hareline:

1523	17-Jul-03	Mr. Whippy	Lam Tin
1524	24-Jul-03	Spiderman & Mullet	Yau Tong MTR
1525	31-Jul-03	Pussyfoot	tbd
1526	07-Aug-03	Small Bone	Mei Foo MTR - "A" to "B"
1527	14-Aug-03	Jack Off John	??
1528	21-Aug-03	E.T.	Po Lam MTR
1529	28-Aug-03	Hugh What?	Sai Kung Country Park
1530	04-Sep-03	The Pope	Kai Tak Carpark (top floor)
1531	11-Sep-03	Open	Contact Cabbage

Upcoming Tours:

RS2H3 Phuket Tour

Dates: Depart HK Wed 10 Sept pm. Return Sun 14 Sept. Attendees will require 1.5 or 2 days leave depending on flight times (to be confirmed).

Approx Cost: HK$3000 max for flight and hotel depending whether direct charter is available and a min group of 10 hashers traveling.

Are you on?

Please contact ET directly ASAP to confirm attendance.

Balloon's "Swivel Class" AC B-Day Mini Tour

Balloon's 40th birthday will be a bash in AC which will include Golf, Birthday dinner and Hash run. Flight cost $1400 +$153 tax leaving HK on PAL 9pm Friday, 15th Aug 03 and returning to HK by 8pm on Monday 17th Aug 03. Tour cost of $3200 confirmed. Requires one day leave although those that have leave problems could come back a day earlier on Sunday 17th. Cost will be about $3200 all in to include flights, transport, accommodation and refreshments. Golf and other recreations extra. Prices will be firmed up by next week.

Interested parties please contact ET or Smegs ASAP.

Camel's Paddle My Ass Tour

No details yet. Camel, if you're reading this, send me some info - Ed.

Disclaimer:

Word is, Pugak is having some very interesting times in Thailand, as witnessed first-hand by some of our Wanchai H3 friends. More very incriminating details to be revealed later!

On-On,

Pugak & Small Bone