ROYAL SOUTH SIDE

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

RUN 1525, 31 July 2003

Shek Kip Mei Special

Shek Kip Mei

Hare: Pussyfoot

“The following is a true record of events as narrated by Gentlemen of the Hash.”

The Run

An atypical Pussyfoot start. No hare, no water and no direction. Getting bored hanging around; Camel suggests checking out the start.  Fatty McPP, now a jolly rotund type, jocularly agreed and wobbled after the humped one.  Chalk was called and f*ckit, the pack was off.  Through the concrete jungle they went, hearing cries off ON-ON, the pack blundered into check backs.  “No damn chalk as usual !” came the shouts.  Eventually steps were encountered near Shek Kip Mei Stadium.  Camel happened to mention to our diminutive little f*cker that LOY was running well in front.  Off flew JO as if he was rushing toward a dwarf tossing competition to catch the offender.

Usual meager chalk and few markings brought the pack to some temple steps. Ice Dancer gingerly minced upwards but the gloom and doom gripped his wee heart, and he faltered and turned back.  Camel threatened to shit on him from a great height and Ice soldiered on higher.  Suddenly Ice started to move quickly, when he was well past the chalk and with the pack waiting expectantly, he whispered “ON-ON”.  JO commented that he was taller than Ice Dancer, (maybe a measuring is in order - Ed.), and went on to say he wouldn’t do that kind of thing.

With work prospects looking grim, Jackoff and Leak on You

  decide to take jobs as delivery boys….

With the pack in full cry and no chalk in sight they managed to stumble their way home with no help from Pussyfoot.  That pleasant fellow Pugak helped one or two others to roll Fatty McPP home.  As expected, Ronnie& Reggie got lost and Cabbage had disappeared up his own arsehole.  The run only took 35 minutes, so Ice Dancer and Leek on Ewe ran the course again and again and again.  (Idiots – Ed.)

The Circle

Little did your scribes realize that HM had missed us so much as he launched into a marathon down-down effort.

Smegma starts.

Ronnie & Reggie + two 1/2s – Amahs

ET jumps out of his coffin, puts on his twee government accent and launches himself.

Smegma – Not missed old boy.

Camel – self-engrandessment.

Pussyfoot – Returnee with no chalk.

Smegma pushes ET back into the crypt

Camel – Attempts to show PK’s girlfriend his office with a bed in it and gets slap in the face for his troubles.

Red Mullet – Allowing his wench to punch Southsiders after kindly feeling bum.

ET – Not inviting Southsiders to house warming

Pussyfoot – Crap run (nothing new there then)

Coco – something to do with mistaking Maggie ???

Screwdriver – GM Hammersley hash (AUS).

Screwdriver inserts himself.

Ronnie & Reggie – Sad bastard wearing England shirt.

Pussyfoot – No explanation of markings.

Camel – On last visit taught Screwdriver debauchery

         Why Camel & Ice Dancer REALLY go to the Gym….

Pugak steps in.

Ronnie & Reggie – Going where Dogbite fears to tread.

Fatty McPP  - Skiddy look alike.

Ice Dancer – Phoning McPP’s bird.

Smegma – Attempting to rejuvenate ET.

Whippy – Hip attachment.

Saddle Sniffer - Maggie shagger.

Saddle Sniffer exposes himself to the pack.

Ice Dancer – Loves KL pussy.

Ice Dancer – Something about counting beans in Neptune 2.

Squeak – No hash gear.

Ronnie & Reggie – No hash gear.

Obelix  – No hash gear.

Screwdriver – Pissing on run.

Fatty McPP – Pissing on run.

Obelix – Thinner version.

Camel – Boring everybody with tales of his sexual exploits.

Camel strides forth

Smegma – Not making amah wear pinnie.

Ronnie & Reggie – Giving him a full pot.

Mullet – Trying to look like Smegma.

Saddle Sniffer – Goes to Macau to visit bird whilst she comes to HK.

Whippy – Date rape.

Ice Dancer – Shitting for Scotland.

Jackoff – Front running.

Leak on U – Taller than JO

Smegma Struts his stuff.

Pugak – Something about gender benders.

Coco. – Paid for doing nothing (must work for government).

Ronnie & Reggie – Selling kids.

Pussyfoot – Fucking up something.

Coco & ET – Cross-dressing.

Obelix – Sunderland refusing to play football (In HK).

Saddle & Cabbage – Usurping GM.

Whippy – Talking nonsense (surprised GM just noticed)

Screwdriver – No hat???

JO – Argumentative, diminutive little fucker.

LOY – Snitching.

JO – No Hash gear.

Squeak – Not funny.

Fatty McPP – Trying to push pagoda over.

Tinkerbell – Greedy.

Ice Dancer = Arsehole and whingeing.

Screwdriver – awarded Southside hat.

Screwdriver – Cheap skate only gives GM condom.

ET – Does L.S.Lowry impression again.

Fatty McPP – Having a tantrum.

Pussyfoot – Doesn’t know whether to invade Iraq Or Iran.

At this point ET stamps his foot and starts whistling a classical tune, thereby boring Coco with his knowledge of glockenspiels. Smegma mercifully ends circle so Coco can escape, this doesn’t stop ET from carrying on practicing his upper class twit voice impression while everyone scatters.

Breaking News

Hashers shocked and disgusted.

In an amazingly brave fashion Ronnie & Reggie give up the veggie and go for a wedggie.  This particular wedggie was the original model for Mr. Blobby, false teeth and all.  Ronnie & Reggie said that Ronnie & Reggie had carnal knowledge of said wedggie’s rear parts.  Of course the Southside thought it was a pack of lies, shock horror, on the lesser hash last weekend the wedggie was seen to drape itself all over Ronnie & Reggie.  Two young apprentice Southsiders were rushed to the vomitorium where they were calmed down by Ice.  (This kind of thing must be stamped out or we might lose another one to NV).

 

Dogbite & Pussyfoot?…..
 

Ice Dancer strikes again.

Having only been in HK a few weeks Ice Dancer wreaks, (for the benefit of our colonial cousins including the Scots this means causes trouble not smells, although he probably reeks. - Ed.), havoc with mans weight.  PP discovered that Ice Dancer had been making clandestine calls to his lassie.  PP is so distraught he’s turned to his compatriot Skiddy.  Skiddy has advised him to eat his troubles away.  PP has taken this advice with gusto, (JO this means enthusiasm – Ed.) and is know referred to as “Fatty Mclard”, “Fatty McPP” and ET’s favourite  “Bunter”.  Fatty Mclard is at this moment wobbling with Weeble looking for his rival, it is reported that Fatty Mclard wants to sit on him and turn him to Crushed Ice.  Hashers have tried to warn Ice about his impending frappe, but he’s always on the phone.

Government cancels classes.

In a landmark move Tung Chee Wah returned from the toilet and has cancelled the “ Upper-class twit voice course” designed specifically for their architects department.  Apparently whilst taking a dump he overheard PK and ET Talking about Wonnie & Weggie wunning awound the twail with Bunter. Tung in cheeks, (JO this means his head was up his arse - Ed.), immediately decided to dump the course thus filling his mouth with upper-class sh*t.

Receding Hareline:

1526	07-Aug-03	Small Bone/Reggie	Mei Foo MTR “A to B”
1527	14-Aug-03	Jack Off	??
1528	21-Aug-03	ET	Po Lam MTR
1529	28-Aug-03	U What?	Sai Kung Country Park
1530	04-Sep-03	The Pope	Kai Tak Carpark Top Floor
1531	11-Sep-03	??	??
1532	18-Sep-03	??	??
1533	25-Sep-03	??	??
1534	02-Oct-03	??	??

Upcoming Tours:

RS2H3 Phuket Tour

Dates:  Depart HK Wed 10 Sept pm.  Return Sun 14 Sept. Attendees will require 1.5 or 2 days leave depending on flight times (to be confirmed).

Approx Cost:  HK$3000 max for flight and hotel depending whether direct charter is available and a min group of 10 hashers traveling.

Are you on? 

Please contact ET directly ASAP to confirm attendance.

Balloon’s “Swivel Class” AC B-Day Mini Tour

Balloon’s 40th birthday will be a bash in AC, which will include Golf, Birthday dinner and Hash run.  Flight cost $1400 +$153 tax leaving HK on PAL 9pm Friday, 15th Aug 03 and returning to HK by 8pm on Monday 17th Aug 03.  Tour cost of $3200 confirmed.  Requires one day leave although those that have leave problems could come back a day earlier on Sunday 17th.  Cost will be about $3200 all in to include flights, transport, accommodation and refreshments. Golf and other recreations extra. Prices will be firmed up by next week.

Interested parties please contact ET or Smegs ASAP.

Camel’s Paddle My Ass Tour

Awaiting info from ET.

Disclaimer:

12 down, 42 to go.   -   On-On, Pugak & Small Bone