Most of the Pack. Note the new exceptionally sophisticated vest worn by the Hashmaster.

Hareline:

The Pre-Run:

A The hashmaster was a bit concerned. Normally, the new Hashmaster can expect a large turnout to witness both his trail setting and circle running skills. But, perhaps the run location had befuddled the feeble minds of our older members… perhaps work commitments had taken precedence… perhaps most were still recovering from the AGM run just five short days earlier… perhaps, yes “perhaps”, no-one gave a flying F*ck. Where was the Pack?

These, and many more thoughts (perhaps even some of those to the left) obviously weighed heavily on the Hashmasters mind. A relatively diminished number finally arrived, including long-time member Swivel. And so, with an explanation of “usual Southside markings”, the pack was sent out of the park, across Sai Ning Street and towards Kung Man Tsuen leaving Smallbone and Hugh Watt to mind the bins and fathom the evening ahead.

The Run:

As is normally the case on Southside runs, Pussyfoot, Cabbage and Ice all jockeyed for front running position with Tinks hanging just in back to take advantage of any potential mistakes. As the pack labored up towards Mo Sing Leng (Mt. Davis) calling was, of course, minimal at best, thus giving each runner a number of opportunities to f*ck the rest of the following pack whilst sorting out checks. The now abandoned military fortifications of Mt. Davis offered many opportunities for checks/checkbacks but also allowed Spit and Swallow and Kiwi to keep up with the balance of the pack. A particularly enjoyable part of the run was seeing the unused WWII batteries, not usually seen on most runs while higher up on the peak.

Coming down from the mountain Ice, in usual fashion, ran through one of three key checkbacks – this one set at the usual reservoir junction half-way into the run. He was last reported to be seen running off towards Cyberport…… Meanwhile the rest of the pack headed downhill, crossed Victoria road, and turned north towards home, passing more waterfront abandoned gun emplacements before rejoining the road a a point close to home.

At this point the run on into home offered a “hole in the fence” challenge near the refuse transfer station that several missed in the dark. The mistake in not taking this “shortcut” required a bit longer run than required for those that missed it.

First back to the bins were Pussyfoot and Tinks in just over 43 minutes. Cabbage, citing crap run, arrived 3 minutes later. Ice then trotted in, accompanied by Swivel. Emma Royde was next, with Kiwi and Caligula arriving about 5 minutes later.

About this time other “non-runners” began arriving, including Amah (lost in Kennedy Town), Smegma(having screwed up at the bus station), Coco (some feeble excuse as usual), Dribble, and Pugak.

Fatman and Squeak rolled in together from the run just barely preceded by Haggis and Spit and Swallow.

Coco, as always feeling guilty about being so obviously fat and out of shape, put on his running kit and pretended to get ready to have a solo run. Soon, his liver and true willpower got the better of him and he opted for a beer instead… just as we knew Coco would.

The Circle:

A beautiful spot for a circle, if you ignored the occasional waft of refuse from the transfer boats….

Situated just on the waters edge near the entrance to the Western edge of Hong Kong harbour, with a quarter moon overhead, distant clouds, the sight of occasional boat traffic off in the distance, and plenty of cold beer – what more could you want?

After all had had a chance to cool down, the Vice-Master, Kiwi, called the circle to order and announced the potential Amahs for this week. The nominees included Coco, Haggis, Fatman Wanks, Swivel and visitor Amah.

Amah wins and Swivel is made Amah watcher to ensure that Amah the Amah gets his money’s worth.

While Amah the Amah got his act together, the circle was formed. First off –

Time to grease the amah

Down Downs

Hashmaster Smallbone starts the circle proceedings:

• Amah – not wearing the apron correctly
• Amahwatcher Swivel– not watching the Amah
• Pugak – great job last year and thanks for the outstanding committee this year

This years Hashmaster then dons an appropriately well tailored, form fitting, and fashion setting Hashmaster vest, which nearly all voiced immediate and complete approval for - 98% approval rating, with margin of error .5%.(Instant polling results brought to you by GASP ©)

Down Downs - continued

• Returnees – Swivel and Fatman Wanks
• Fatman Wanks – used to be as thin as Emma Royde but now living up to his name
• Time to grease the amah
• Hugh Watt and Kiwi Sausage – outgoing and incoming Vice-Masters
• All those on last years committee and not on this years committee – Emma Royde, Pugak, Dribble
• Anyone Not British and not a Yank – Squeak, Hugh Watt, and Kiwi (the latter noted as definitely being 2 members of next years committee)
• Kiwi’s Circle…..
  From the AGM -
  • Tinks – why does he have so many chicks... Because he has all the money and he makes sure they know it
  • Caligula and Smallbone – rowdy boys in the Bunny Bar that almost caused a riot
• Hashmaster Smallbone takes a moment to remind the pack that it’s ok to ask “what time is it”?
• Time to grease the amah
  • Smallbone – setting a brilliant run tonight. Almost the same one set by STFU 4 weeks ago.
  • Jack Off – knowing the run so skipped it.
• Smallbone resumes……
• Haggis and Squeak – too much or too little porn in the trash (future survey to be taken on this matter)
• Pussyfoot – not at the AGM. Lawn bowling instead
• Swivel and Fatman Wanks – Living in Edinborough is good. No, its full of Scotsmen
• Time to grease the amah
• Fatman Wanks – convinced company of trip to HK including presidential suite in Wanchai at corner of Fewick and Lockhart Roads
• Kiwi and Jack Off – Last year’s and this year’s scribes
• Pussyfoot – wearing go fast haircut which is also a WWII VE day for being a holocaust survivor
• Cabbage – arrived home later than Smallbone after AGM. (Was he the latest though? Possible survey question.)
• Kiwi and Spit and Swallow – What time did “you” get home?
• Time to grease the amah
• Fatman Wanks or Spit and Swallow – Fatman can’t find run even though he lived here so Spit and Swallow, a newcomer who finds it, gets the down down
• Dribble and Smegma– been here forever and can’t find the run
• Time to grease the amah

Awards
See the awards table!

• Time to grease the amah – throughout the awards section of the circle……

Down Downs - again

• Jack Off awards Ice – 3 down downs and 1 for good measure (for ruining quality Gilbert hash gear) as Ice left his shoes and hash stash in the Bunny Club
• Smallbone again…
• Haggis – recall email message
• Time to grease the amah
• Ice – Amah watcher
• Swivel – gentlemen that invented the term swivel class
• Time to grease the amah
• Spit and Swallow – almost swam home tonight since he doesn’t understand that no no means wrong way…
• Tinks awards Dribble his 700th mug but then won’t give him credit or award until next week when he actually works for it. Secret ballot results 99% no, 1% yes (Instant polling results brought to you by GASP ©).
• Time to grease the amah
• Hugh Watt – Lightning fast updates to the web
• Ice – bouncing back info
• Coco and Cabbage – private circle
• Ice – mistake over 700th run

Circle Announcements

• Ice – Run 1635 (with weak joke by Dribble about the year he last set that run)
• Dribble – next weeks run
• Time to degrease the amah

New Circle

• Time to grease the amah
• Ice – webslam
• Smallbone from Kiwi – run in fresh air next to refuse station
• Time to degrease the amah

Circle Closed.

Of the Top 101 things NOT to say while having SEX….

92. I'll bet you didn't know I am a “Southsider”…
93. So that's why they call me Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Camel!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend Reggie’s turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses.
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this as a favor.
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?

  Awards:

Sports Section:

CONCERNED ABOUT ALL THAT FAT AND ALCOHOL IN YOUR DIET WHILE DINING IN THE KANGAROO PUB?

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING FACTS:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than British.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than British.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than British.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than British.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and suffer fewer hearts attacks than British.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking British is apparently what kills you.

Link of the Week:

http://195.92.224.73/j20/content/host.asp

Dogbite & Malou share some quality time

Required new Southside “stash” for visiting Wanchai?