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Royal Southside Hash Trash © Run 1637 | 
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| Run No: | 1637 |  |
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| Date: | 2 June, 2005 | |
| Location: | Junk Bay | |
| Hares: | Saddle with co-hare Pussyfoot | |
Most of this week's pack
Hareline:
| Run No. | Date | Hare | Run Location | On-On |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1638 | 9-June-05 | Ding A Ling | Tai Po Market | TBA |
| 1639 | 16-June-05 | Kiwi (40 min. run - The fat f@cker is 40) | Sok Ku Wan - Lamma (Aberdeen Junk – Departs @ 6.30pm) | Seafood |
| 1640 | 23-June-05 | Camel | Braemar Hill | TBA |
| 1641 | 30-June-05 | Hugh Watt | TBA | TBA |
| 1642 | 7-July-05 | TBA | TBA | TBA |
| 1643 | 14-July-05 | TBA | TBA | TBA |
Interesting GASP © statistic….. 100% of this years runs have had some sort of water theme (ocean, reservoir, harbour). Gasp © predicts this theme may be difficult to maintain.
The Pre-Run:
This week’s hare, Saddle, definitely knows how to pick his starting point. Close to the MTR station, and with plenty of cover, privacy and room for all…Well, one out of three isn’t too bad I guess.
The electrical substation with one step and chain link fence across from the main MTR cross walk afforded the pack ample opportunity to strut their stuff and/or demonstrate public changing capabilities. The hare, meanwhile sat in a puddle of piss or sweat, hard to tell which, looking suitably knackered from having just finished his “1.5 hour trail setting”.
Tinks finally arrived with water and a place to store the bags since this was to be an A-B run. And, with bags packed, ET done whinging about getting started, Saddle’s inevitably long and boring instructions, the 15 or so runners ran off in the usual northerly direction towards the mountains and wondering what happed to McShite, Pussywhipped and Ali McBeal (ya ya they have more important things to do….).
The Run:
The usual first bit found The usual first bit found Cabbage and Coco jockeying for front runner position (yes, no ICE here this week – on vacation) as we headed off towards the Whippy memorial car park coverage (aka Flee China run!). Coco and JackOff solved the first two checks in fine form, but the third check, after a subway underpass, proved to be JackOff’s downfall.
A major checkback found your scribe eventually checking and heading off through the housing estate (missing Smallbone’s calls to return) and off into the darkness whilst the rest of the pack found trail across the highway. Bugger (to quote Spiderman)!
Eventually, now last, your scribe found his way back and spied the last of the pack scaling stairs across the Rt 6 highway. Skillfully navigating his way across the highway, your scribe sought to catch the pack. Climbing countless steps up, still dripping fresh from the sweat of the pack, the stair trail climbed ever higher and higher. The trail joined a catch water (prime Leak on You and Dogbite territory here…) that traversed a concreted and terraced mountain face. Although the receding pack could be seen foundering amongst the railings and another check, your scribe could clearly discern the trail ahead and, remembering Mullet’s immortal words “never give up the high ground” so pushed forward, finally catching back runners Hugh Watt and ET, both whinging profusely from below.
At this point Pussyfoot magically appeared, not having marked the previous checks in reasonable time as had been promised… but I digress…. so, leaving the aforementioned members behind, your scribe pressed onwards to another catchwater and thus caught and passed Rear Ender before arriving at the mother of all evening checks…. and the rest of the pack… close to the peak of Chiu Keng Wan Shan mountain. This 4 (?) way check befuddled the pack for some time, with members running all about until someone spied the downhill via another catch basin. Rear Ender and Jack Off attempted to avoid this route by taking some steps, but to no avail. Dead end.
The correct trail catch basin turned sharply left and, after a short jog, forced all onto a metal downhill plank before joining a catch water down to the road. Crossing the road the trail turned uphill onto (yet) another flight of stairs and a fence crossover that ET balked at. With the help of Pussy, ET carried on around the mountain along the road – whinging, short-cutting bastard.
The true trail wound around another yet mountain before joining the Wilson trail. Another major check back caught your scribe who then sought to catch the pack through 2 more downhill road checks (don’t the hares know when to stop?).
The On Home was a welcome sight, except for the fact that it was poorly marked and found Rear Ender, Cabbage, Jack Off, Spit or Swallow and Kiwi foundering about in the Lei Yue Mun entry way for some 5 or 10 minutes. The final trail was found towards the water and pier where the On home was marked again at the finish.
Most of the pack did the run in under 1 hour and, overall, a very good run it was deemed to be…. But, good thing the rains held off as the light and intermediate markings would NEVER have held. The initial front running pack, including visitor Dr. Evil, Emma Royde, Coco, Caligula, Smegma and Smallbone were there to greet last of the pack, having watched the lost in action antics from afar. Thanks for the help bud’s.
The 1st Circle:
Cabbage did a runner (mumbling something about brownie points…) and Pugak showed up during the long cooling respite at pier side that was finally punctuated by the call from Kiwi to circle-up.
Amah nominations for the evening – Dr. Evil and Cabbage….. easy choice.
Smallbone awards STFU dd for having his girlfriend wear Southside gear. Definite no-no.
| STFU another dd for making incorrect comments regarding Southside having gay tendencies whilst on a lesser hash. (CU or Perfumed Poofter would never have done this!) | |
| Kiwi steps in: | |
| Grease the Amah (Dr. Evil) | |
| Smallbone takes over: | |
| Grease the Amah (Dr. Evil) again for not wearing apron correctly | |
| ET balking at fence and walking around | |
| Saddle and Pussyfoot – absolutely shite run | |
| Saddle – shite weather | |
| Pussyfoot – Not a Cox’s Road run, but is on the Kowloon side | |
| Jack Off – running off into Cox’s Road direction tonight | |
| Grease the Amah (after Hashmaster reminds pack that it’s ok to do so…) | |
| Grease the Amah | |
| Kiwi and Coco (fake call-in) actually Spit or Swallow – bad sportsmanlike conduct | |
| Kiwi takes over for some mystery dd’s – | |
| Smallbone – “Do you still have a tall guy from a small town?” | |
| Saddle – Restroom sex | |
| Squeak – Repetitive STFU typing | |
| Grease the Amah | |
| Pussyfoot – How do you employ Japanese. Sleazy bastard. | |
| Smallbone takes over again – | |
| Spit or Swallow – allowing a coke to be placed in an RS2H3 beer condom by a female on a lesser hash | |
| Grease the Amah | |
| Saddle and Pussyfoot – wrong trail markings
Punishment – must allow Rearender to accompany them in setting any future runs this year if set on Kowloon side. | |
| Visitors – Dr. Evil and Spit or Swallow (the latter is still not on autopay) | |
| Kiwi takes over - | |
| Smegma and ET – RSVP response to Kiwi’s wig party invitation within 2 hours. Cheap retirees. | |
| Spit or Swallow – attempting to race against Kiwi | |
| Tinks – spiderwebs on the trail | |
| Hugh Watt – Bottom burp while on the trail | |
Awards - 1st Circle
| Emma Royde returns the stolen hashmasters vest to Smallbone. Careful alterations to vest noted by all. | |
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| Grease the Amah x 3 |
See the awards table!
Awards:
| Award | Awarded By | Awarded To | Date Awarded | Retained by | Weeks Held |
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| Porcelain Penis (Malou friend) | STFU | Ally McBeal | 28-April-05 | Ally McBeal | 5 |
| Dick of the Week (aka MOTW) | Coco | Tinks | 2-June-05 | Tinks | - |
| Bullshit (Cowbell) | Jack Off | Kiwi | 26-May-05 | Kiwi | 1 |
| Whip | Caligula | Jack Off | 2-June-05 | Jack Off | - |
| Mu-mu Shirt | Saddle | Jack Off | 2-June-05 | Jack Off | - |
| Snoopy with Orange Hat | Rearender | Haggis | 7-May-05 | Haggis | 4 |
| 7's Tits Out | EmmaRoyde | Saddle | 2-June-05 | Saddle | - |
| Jester's Hat | Pugak | Jack Off | 2-June-05 | Jack Off | - |
| Smallbone resumes post Awards time - | |
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| Caligula – down down challenged | |
| Hugh Watt – wrong location | |
| Hugh Watt – Web site excellence | |
| Kiwi resumes – | |
| Rearender – not the rearender this week | |
| Jack Off – notes | |
| Great Americans – Soccer match against lowly English thugs | |
| Saddle and Pussyfoot – not keeping things under control | |
| Grease the Amah | |
| Hats on in the circle – Smegma, Smallbone, Pugak | |
| Coco – didn’t get the nice girl on the train | |
| Returnees – Dr. Evil | |
| Grease the Amah | |
| Smallbone takes over again – | |
| Squeak – no hash gear | |
| Non-runners – Pugak…… and why is he drinking orange juice tonight? | |
| Emma Royde – creative sewing skills | |
| Smegma – inquiry about fishing and fingers | |
| Grease the Amah | |
| Saddle, Hugh Watt, Smegma, ET, Coco, Tinks – last supper’s members | |
Announcements – see further on.
Next weeks run – Tai Po Market by Ding a Ling. Squeak gets down down for not setting his own run.
| Degrease the Amah |
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Much foundering about, last supping, and deciding where to have food. After considerable indecision some of the pack decides to take the ferry from Lei Yue Mun to Sai Wan Ho. Upon arrival at same, more discussion regarding where to have an On On.
A local watering hole/dpd is spotted, and after further excited discussion, its decided to have a cold one whilst reflecting further on the matter.
At this point, the Hashmaster decides its time to have another circle.
The 2nd Circle:
 Let's have another circle | ||
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 The twins are thrilled... |
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 Now, this is how it is done I’m still not sure I get it… Ok, then you be the Amah | ||
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Awards Circle #2:
| Award | Awarded By | Awarded To | Date Awarded | Retained by | Weeks Held | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Porcelain Penis (Malou friend) | STFU | Ally McBeal | 28-April-05 | Ally McBeal | 5 | ||||
| Dick of the Week (aka MOTW) | Coco | Tinks | 2-June-05 | Tinks | - | ||||
| Bullshit (Cowbell) | Jack Off | Kiwi | 26-May-05 | Kiwi | 1 | ||||
| Whip | Jack Off | Rearender | 2-June-05 | Rearender | - | ||||
| Mu-mu Shirt | Saddle | Jack Off | 2-June-05 | Jack Off | - | ||||
| Snoopy with Orange Hat | Rearender | Haggis | 7-May-05 | Haggis | 4 | ||||
| 7's Tits Out | EmmaRoyde | Saddle | 2-June-05 | Saddle | - | ||||
| Jester's Hat | Jack Off | Coco | 2-June-05 | Coco | - | ||||
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Back to the circle………………
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Sports Section:
On a TRIAL basis, this week’s Sports section might well as be Haggis certified and approved – no bad things here.
For at tasteful selection of this weeks sports items kindly see the notes supplement (Ed. unfortunately only available to the mailing list and not posted to the website....).
Link of the Week:
WARNING – If you are HAGGIS, or if there could possibly, but not likely be anyone else offended by gratuitous pictures of unclad members of the opposite sex, DO NOT OPEN the notes attachment. YOU have been warned.
http://www.amateurcurves.com
| Announcements: |
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Pugak is drinking orange juice after returning from his latest tour. Stay tuned for further medical updates.
Committee meeting 7 pm Tuesday night, June 7 at Jack Off’s. Check out the Web site for new formats and run-related information! 18th June Wig Party being held at the Bridge, Lockhart Road Wanchai The Koh Samui Hash are doing something on 8th – 9th July and all are invited. 8-10th October 2005 – 4th Nash Hash – Fiji – featuring Spiderman as hare. 28-30th October 2005 - 8th Indochine Mekong Hash – Vientiane, Laos PRD. |
Health Warning: Hashing will most likely offend you and will definitely affect your Health. You may die while on a Hash or as a result of associating with Southsiders or by just crossing the road in Wanchai. The Southside accepts no responsibility for any accident, injury or death to you or anyone else. You have been warned.
On – On STFU & Jack Off
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