Royal Southside Hash Trash© Run 1647

Hareline:

The Pre-Run:

Dogs, dogs and bloody more dogs, what a doggie-poo location for a run start, unfortunately we were not in Neptunes and the dogs had four legs and smelled like shit. The hare arrived with two co-hares Saddle and appropriately Dog Bite. In fact it was quite confusing to figure out which one was the hare as even Whippy could have been secretly involved. Given the number of dogs at the run start and the roving packs of crazed four legged fiends we found along the trail, we think Dog Bite should be given the accord or shame for this one. Eventually at around 6.45 the pack including two of Twatman’s rugby mates set off.

Just for He Hore and Dogbite
Anyone for doggy style with French porn queen Olivia De treville

The Run:

I always struggle with this bit as I have not a clue where we are going and am usually too nackered to look at road signs etc so you will have to rely on your memories and local knowledge to fill in any omissions.

The pack were sent off back across Clearwater Bay Raod and down through some steps and with Cabbage, Camel and Jackoff (co-ed note: leading Smegma from behind the pack) leading the way. After hanging a quick left the trail wound up through some woods and out on to more road. After a couple of hundred yards a check sent Cabbage one way and others down hill to a false trail where eventually Smallbone and Tinks found the correct trail up past some local houses with a particularly scary Rottweiler eying all for dinner. Emerging on to the start of a very large hill the pack rejoined and struggled up after a couple of kilometres whereupon they came across the Hare and his Daughter handing out cold red wine - weird drink stop or what. The check at the same spot fooled STFU and a few others including the virgin Declan and Twatman.

Eventually they started up the ascent on to the inevitable dirty great mountain whose name I forget but remembered the slog up to the top of a few weeks before in blazing sunshine. Fortunately the FRB`s discovered that we were not heading to the top and following Jellyfish and Smallbone, STFU plus Twatman and his entourage cut across to the lower trail and met the short cutting Squeak and Mr Whippy who then found the trail down off the hill. Progress was quite slow heading down due to the ground underfoot and the fact that Mr Whippy and Squeak did not care for the aforementioned boulders and long grass. It was on the descent the pack met Smegma coming up the wrong way having been late to arrive as usual. Eventually Smallbone and STFU broke free and attempted to catch up with the FRB`s. A check just after the shiggy trail caused some confusion but eventually we headed up past a pack of stray dogs with us again looking like their dinner. The top of the next hill was the scene of more confusion for Smallbone, Tinks and STFU who were met by an even more confused Camel before setting off down Hang Hau Road assuming we had found the trail. Upon arriving back at the start point Cabbage informed us we had missed a bit, a comment that repeated to most of the returning pack. Eventually even back-runner Ice Dancer came in, I have no idea where he went. We were all grateful that the circle area had been cleared of Amah’s and their various dogs and

STFU Scribes rant

Can all future hares please ensure an adequate supply of lighting as we scribes do actually like to see what we are trying to write down, even if we completely ignore it later. Rant over, on to the Circle.

Before the Circle I just want to remind everyone of the stunning ass that went past us twice during the pre-circle drinks.

Yep it is her and she does f@ck like a rabbit!!!!!

Scribe wakes up from dream.

The Circle:

At around 2040hrs Kiwi (KW) called the Circle.

KS	Nominates Mr Whippy, Twatman and He Hore and by unanimous decision He Hore is dressed and greased
Smallbone	First up was Saddle as RA – Bloody too hot/humid for running, have a word with the man upstairs
Smallbone	Next in is Kiwi Suasage for ignoring Smallbone’s advice and scaring all the ladies by running topless
Smallbone	Calls in Mr Whippy for not showing up for ages and then makes two consecutive runs
Amah greased
Awards were given at this point with only the Jesters hat and the cowbell being awarded (see table) with a comment being passed that we will not see the cowbell again as Mr Whippy now has it and he will now be recovering for several months from his execrations over the last two runs Back to
Smallbone	Kiwi Sausage and Ice Dancer are charged with being unfit b@stards and complaining of injuring themselves on the run
Smallbone	Ice is kept in for beer spillage on last charge, shame, shame what a waste Over to
KS	Pugak is in for over zealous ogling at Kiwi’s current bed warmer
KS	Tinks is called to account for nearly crashing his car whilst watching some pretty young thing
KS	Twatman, Colin and Declan, the rugby players are then punished for arse licking towards Pugak and Tinks on the grounds that they are rugby referees. Guys just take them to Neptunes and ply them with LBFM’s, this will work better, especially if you get photographs. If you just want to make them up then start here
	Or here Over to
Smallbone	Visitor Jellyfish, Twatman and Hugh Watt are in next for the sin of no hash gear
Amah greased
Smallbone	Cabbage is reminded that he was completely bladdered at his recent birthday party to which he responded “what party, was I there”?
Smallbone	Pugak, must be getting fitter, always seems to be back before Smallbone! Could there be skulduggery at foot or does he just bloody short cut better than Smallbone?
Smallbone	Continuing on the theme Mr Whippy and Squeak are charged with being serious Short cutting B@stards
Smallbone	Declan is introduced as a hash virgin- very quickly learning the bit about drinking a lot!!
Smallbone	Ice Dancer is also reminded of Cabbage’s party but for more shameful reason of being last in, in just under 1hr 45 on a 50 min run, where the hell did he go?
Amah greased
Ice now takes over
Ice	Mr Whippy reminded that interrupting is a no no, and is punished in usual way
Ice	Kiwi Sausage is shamed into admitting he ignored a fellow Southsider Tinks when out with his current bed warmer (scared of the competition maybe)
Ice	STFU bunking out of run setting - false charge but who gives a f@ck I will record it anyway
Ice	Cabbage is now an official member of the coffin dodgers and again reminded that he was completely pickled at his party. Cabbage is now utterly confused as two Southsiders remember being at a party he cannot even recall hosting, it must be an age thing!!
It is now getting very dark and I can hardly read my notes for the next down downs but here goes…. Over to
KS	Jellyfish is ridiculed for resembling a late eighties porn star
KS	Smegma is charged with being the worst ever Amah, see last week’s notes
KS	Cabbage and Hugh Watt are in for something to do with Love Handles (maybe) it was dark
KS	Jack off and Tinks are next in for the simple crime of being too nerdy by reason of their fascination with Statistics, they need to meet Caligula and compare figures. However, a recent Gasp © survey found that these three gentlemen ranked just slightly lower in respectability than the hashmaster, who, as everyone knows, is at the top of the pack.
KS	Smallbone is reprimanded for failure to wear his special symbol of office Back to
Smallbone	The visitors Colin, Declan and Jellyfish – just because they are visitors
Smallbone	Hugh Watt for being overheard saying he liked the run, bloody cheek seeing as how he didn’t do it!
Smallbone	At last the Hares are in and the run was declared a pile of poo, probably dog poo
	AT LAST A GOOD USE FOR DOG SHIT!!!!!
Amah greased
Smallbone	Saddle for delusions of grandeur – claiming to be THE Hare for this run
Smallbone	He Hore is accused of being a cheap b@stard for serving us the free wine now available on French Auto routes
Over to the now pissed
He Hore	Pugak is back again (at least four times tonight) this time for having too many ailments and for apparently drinking white wine
He Hore	Squeak is charged with driving a Girlie car and for getting lost in it, eventually having to call his honourary gentleman to sort him out.
He Hore	calls in Hash Virgin Declan for being shoe less in the Circle tut tut never happen in my day, no style no panache says He Hore
He Hore	now too pissed and f@cks up next down downs, Bloody French cannot hold their drink
Rescued by
Smallbone	Hugh Watt – took four honourary gentlemen home from Cabbages non-existent party, questions will be asked?
Hugh Watt (HW) takes over
HW	Saddle is charged with being jealous of Hugh Watt’s private bevy of beauties
HW	Jack off is in for something to do with small notes at least I think he said notes
HM	The scribes Jack off and STFU – shit job on the notes, I think meant as a back handed compliment but STFU throws minor Neckie and nearly throws toys out of his pram.
It was now impossible to write/read anything so I believe there may have been an announcement about the coming Free China Hash and another reminder about deposits for the Burma Tour.
Amah degreased

An On On was organised at nearby Dai Pa Dong which although poorly attended I am told was excellent.

And now for the eagerly awaited Sports pages….

Sports Section:

I wanted to continue with a French theme , but I couldn’t find enough good looking women and although I could find plenty of dogs who the hell wants to look at dogs so here is a selection of hot young Japanese girls just in case Kiwi was feeling nostalgic or Smallbone was considering really looking after his young Japanese charge on a lesser Hash who was so helpless and lost Smallbone was appointed to look after her.

You cum here I suck I f@!ck you long long time

Link of the Week:

http://www.japanbabes.info/naughtyasiannymphos.com/tgps/03-p03-ded/asian-032.html

Awards:

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