Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1651

Run No:	1651
Date:	25 August, 2005
Location:	Lai King
Hares:	Rear Ender

First confirmed picture of Moose... the lake (exclusive GASPｩ photo)

Hareline:

The Pre-Run:

On this very, very hot evening the pack made their respective ways to Lai King on the Far Eastern side of the New Territories.

The long MTR train ride out, aggravated by the fact that the hare had not yet laid markings to the start, kept the start of the run delayed. Having gone to fetch water for the run (an ominous foretelling of the evening) and his own late start in setting the run, Rear Ender had his hands full with last minute instructions and having to quiet the nervous pack.

Finally, after waiting in vain for Tinks, the pack was set off at 6:50 p.m. with MTR tickets in hand for a surprise A-B take the MTR back to A run・

The Run:

Pussyfoot was his usual slow self and, in the absence of Ice, kept the back runners in check. Camel, front-running as usual, guided the pack out of the park, up some stairs, and to the main road. Crossing the road, the pack headed towards the Wonderland Housing complex, preceded by 3 checks that served to separate the men from the boys.

The lack of closed check proved to be a challenge for some, especially ET who opted out early at this early stage.

Camel, in the absence of confirmed trail, suddenly found himself charging downhill from the estates. Figuring enough was enough, he jogged on home ・arriving in a comfortable 25 minutes (smart man this week・.

Upon arriving, Camel was met by a sizable pack of late non-runners who, having heard that this was going to be a long run, correctly opted out. This pack included Hugh Watt, Tinks, Saddle and Jack Off.

This left now front running Cabbage, Coco, Spit or Swallow, Smallbone, Kiwi, and Squeak to fend for themselves for the remainder of the long run.

Much to the delight of the boys and the added nervousness of Rear Ender, Camel gleefully reported the on-going time of the run, and expected comments/results as the night progressed. Meanwhile, the run progressed ever upwards, through the water treatment plant behind the estates, around the reservoir, and into a country park. Fortunately, the trail was well marked at this stage and the pack had a chance to stretch their legs.

Eventually, the trail led downhill to the MTR station at Lai Chi Kok for a quick 2 stop trip back to A. UNFORTUNATELY, the time was now 1 hour 30 minutes and counting.

Cabbage was first back, looking in fairly good shape, followed several minutes later by Kiwi and Smallbone. A shake of the hare痴 hand and 鍍hanks for setting the run・foreshadowed events to come.

At 1:53 Spit or Swallow, Coco, and Squeak arrived (happy as can be) ・all immediately heading for water, although Coco was overheard to say 妬f there is no water the hare is dead・

Oh, and yes, Pussyfoot arrived in too, but who cares.

The Pre-Circle:

The evening痴 conversation was scintillating as the pack waited for the circle to start. Some of the conversations overheard included:

Smallbone and Kiwi:
泥o we know who Amah will be tonight?・Answer: 撤recedent has already been set for hare as Amah.・
的知 the only one that can say Rear Ender will be Amah・
溺ay I make a suggestion then?・

Another conversation:

Pussyfoot to Kiwi ・鏑ooks like you致e lost weight・ Answer- 哲o, you just put it on.・
ET ・典hese are vintage Smegma housing blocks・note the 4 slots per house for typhoon ventilation. These are also used for roaches and to lower cost・and they are completely ugly ・don稚 you think?・

As a cool and refreshing breeze arrived, accompanied by a long hiatus of cold beers and fellowship, comfortable benches, and soft lighting the pack slowly cooled down (literally and figuratively).

Saddle politely poured pre-down down awards in preparation of things to follow.

The Circle:

Judging the time right at 9:11 p.m. Kiwi called the circle to order with a resounding 鼎ircle Up・

Amah candidate痴 this week - who cares・

Rear Ender easily took the honor痴. (Note: a pre-circle survey by GASPｩ gave a 97% probability return to Rear Ender being the selected Amah.)

Hashmaster Smallbone starts the proceedings: What time is it - Grease the Amah Smallbone announces that it is ok to fuck the Amah tonight (Hugh What smiles). Smallbone What did you think of tonight痴 run? Ok thanks for setting it anyway・ Rear Ender ・down down Saddle, Squeak ・no hash gear Hugh Watt ・birthday recently and didn稚 tell us. Mistake. Hugh Watt ・missing Birthday several weeks ago. Grease the Amah Kiwi ・no shirt on the run again tonight. MTR coach emptied as a result. Kiwi痴 circle: Spit or Swallow ・Holiday BJ before meeting the parents Smallbone ・convincing Kiwi not to make an honorary gentlemen an Amah last week Saddle - corduroy trousers (FASHION ABUSE) Smallbone痴 Circle again: No awards this week (again). Grease the Amah Saddle ・weather. Too hot. ET ・cannot figure out website. Needs to learn how to click on hyperlinks・ Camel, Tinks, Hugh Watt, Saddle, Jack Off - non-runners Squeak ・Stupid enough to do the run Grease the Amah Jack Off - timing issue Hugh Watt- Blind・ And deaf Kiwi ・No ticket for the MTR, so jumps over the turn-styles. Still, too slimy to be arrested by the cops. Grease the Amah Kiwi痴 Circle again: Smallbone - leaving Kiwi with Geipo and knife Camel ・advertising for Thai痴 on the web ET makes funniest comment of the year・but no-one hears Smallbone痴 Circle again: Camel ・I知 fat, I need to work out・ Needs to get fit and do the run. Short-cutting bastard. Grease the Amah Returnee ・Spit or Swallow. Don稚 go away・. Spit or Swallow ・1 stone lighter after tonight痴 run Spit or Swallow ・video porn on the telephone. Not going there・ Spit or Swallow痴 circle: Squeak ・Hash is posh, but not his carrying bag (handbags at dawn) Grease the Amah Smallbone痴 Circle again: Grease the Amah Kiwi ・Follow the fat bastard, not On On Pussyfoot ・following the fat bastard Cabbage ・FRB all night Cabbage痴 circle: Grease the Amah Camel ・calling Pussyfoot a fat bastard, even if it is true Coco ・nearly the best notes of the year. But still not Jack Off Grease the Amah Camel ・good runners run Grease the Amah Hugh What ・Spectacular job on the web Rear Ender ・fucking up the run ANNOUNCEMENTS Cabagge ・mistake Jack Off ・threatens more Snoopy痴 if awards don稚 show up Smallbone痴 Circle again: Saddle ・bites in the neck Saddle痴 circle: Camel ・kilts Cabbage ・no stash Camel ・fucking kilts again Squeak ・shut up Camel ・kilts are too long Camel ・thanks Next Week痴 Run- Tinks (Cricket Club) Grease the Amah Cabbage ・wrong question Rear Ender ・Wrong answer Amah degreased

Circle Closed

THE GUARDIAN , LONDON
Tuesday, Aug 23, 2005,Page 6

"Stand on me, Gordon Bennett, the saucepan lids just ain't speaking true Cockney anymore." Or so says a study of speech in the heart of London's East End, which has found that the once traditional dialect of its streets is being usurped by a new voice used by the predominantly Bangladeshi youth. The BBC's Voices project has discovered that a person may have to stray a little further than the sound of Bow Bells to hear one of the best-known accents in the world. A new mix of cockney and Bangladeshi has developed which is similar to Received Pronunciation, particularly in vowel sounds, according to Sue Fox, a researcher at the University of London.

After studying young people at a Tower Hamlets youth club, Fox told the BBC: "The majority of young people of school age are of Bangladeshi origin and this has had tremendous impact on the dialect ... It's a variety [of English] that we might say is Bangladeshi-accented. And in turn, what I've found is that some adolescents of white British origin are using these features in their speech as well."

During a nine-month study, Fox discovered that young, white men in particular have begun using Bangladeshi words from their friends -- "nang" meaning good, "creps" for trainers and "skets" for slippers.

Brick Lane, the heart of Tower Hamlets, is an example of the new melting pot of accent and dialect. Old-style East End pubs such as the Archers and the Pride of Spitalfields throw up locals who just wouldn't Adam and Eve it, while curry touts try and entice you with Bangladeshi English. Down in the trendy Truman Brewery pubs, meanwhile, the seriously hip swap tales in their own pretentious argot.

David Crystal, a BBC Voices consultant and one of the world's leading language specialists, said traditional cockney isn't so much dying out but two kinds of mixed accents are developing.

"Walk down Brick Lane and you will hear all sorts of interesting voices and dialects. Undoubtedly, some of the old-style cockney might be dying out as some rural dialects are dying out. But all accents change," he said.

The cockney accent isn't disappearing altogether, but shifting to outlying towns and boroughs, according to Laura Wright, a lecturer at the University of Cambridge.

"Long-standing East End communities were very much disrupted after the Second World War, partly due to bomb damage, partly to slum clearance, and many inhabitants were transferred out of London to the newly built new towns, such as Basildon and Harlow," Wright said.

Awards... in crisis mode:

Sports Section:

Gasp ｩ Tri-Nation Rugby sports result ・Australia loses・again, this time in the finals to New Zealand.

The pack registers votes re: the Kilts

The Baby Machine

A young woman married and had 13 children, then her husband died. She married again and had seven more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had five more children.

Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"

The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."



A Priest was seated next to a Queenslander on a flight to Canberra. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Queenslander asked for a Bundy Rum and Coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Priest if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Queenslander then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

Roxanne, a love-starved Southsider痴 girlfriend, was so desperate that she went to a local newspaper office and inquired about putting an advertisement in the 'Lonely Hearts' column. "Well, madam," the assistant said, "we charge a minimum of $1 per insertion." "You don't say," said Roxanne "Well then, here's $20 and to hell with the advertisement!"

Link of the week:

http://twistys.com

More Interesting Statistics・Courtesy of Gaspｩ

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
4 broken arms were reported in UK hospitals last year after cracker pulling.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last 2 years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextric cars.

AND FINALLY.............

8 Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet in the year 2000

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