Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1652

Hareline:

PETER PAN OR TINKERBELL?

The Pre-Run:

STFU and Squeak were the early arrivals and were greeted to the sight of Tinkerbell bent over the rear seats of his car "helping" his bed warmer Apple with her clothing arrangements. His excuse was that she was "hot" from having helped him set the run (more on this later). Maybe it was the draw of being next to the girl's scouts centre or the stream of pretty women leaving the cricket club but whatever it was, a massive 21 runners eventually descended on the run site. Pre run discussions included all things nautical from the sailing fraternity of Hugh What, Cabbage, Squeak and Boilers, various comments about the tour kilts being handed out by Camel, and the taking of orders by the Hare for fish and chips for the post run festivities.

For those runners who had mislaid or forgot their torches they would only need to stick with Hugh Watt as his shoes would light up the black hole of Calcutta. The pack were eventually given their instructions and set off uphill towards Parkview with late arrivals Saddle, Spit or Swallow, Coco and Pussyfoot plus hash virgin Toby in hot pursuit having been given a helping hand by the Hare.

But still, for those who thought.....just maybe.... No, there was no POPE. Will we see him before St. Patties?

Smegma, Pugak, McShite, Mr. Whippy, Dogbite (he's gotta go) and Dr. Evil have also been no-shows for awhile and whose absence is noticed.

The Run:

Smallbone smelled a falsie and sure enough the front runners soon called it and back came the pack towards the Shell station, much to the amusement of Hugh What, Moose, and other "back of the pack" members.

Camel stated the obvious, that it must be up the stairs and left towards Parkview.

Trundling up the hill, short-cutting Ice was spotted as the pack found trail next to the reservoir and the trail leading towards Violet Hill. Our cunning hare then caused the pack to spend the next several minutes running in futile false checks, punctuated with large chalked happy faces from his female co-hare, before the trail materialized again coming back across the reservoir dam and uphill again towards Parkview.

At the usual Parkview entrance, Cabbage and Jack Off checked left only to hear the On On from the stairs to the right of the barbecue pits. Cabbage short-cutted off while Jack Off returned to the real trail, only to meet Ali (you will never be a Southsider) McBeal and Spit or Swallow (minus a torch).

The trail headed up along the Hong Kong trail before a falsie turned the pack left and to the covered water reservoir above Sir Cecil's. Cabbage, having caught up with the pack, found trail into the shiggy, where the trail meandered slowly upwards to the old WWII pillboxes where another check regrouped the pack again.

Jack Off and Caligula found trail heading back towards Sir Cecil's which enabled them to front run just long to head right from a check and then to get falsied along the catchwater. The real trail turned left and emerged in the back-side of the temple area back on Sir Cecil's. A short run along Sir Cecil's was negotiated before the trail emptied out near Mt. Butler Road.

A keen check again split the pack, where Jackoff, running alone, stumbled upon late-starting Coco who helped guide him back to Sir Cecil's at the French International School. Smallbone, Camel, and Cabbage were ahead at this point but Camel was found after he had unsuccessfully searched two more checks, one of which turned out to be the infamous 100 steps back up to the reservoir or downhill to Tai Tam road (the correct trail).

At this point, the long loop around Sir Cecil's home (never give up the high ground Mullet would say) versus down to Tai Tam road, around to the Secondary French International school, and long slog along Wong Nai Chung Gap Road home seemed pretty obvious to many.

For the first time, Ice appeared to be the first back in about 50+ minutes, followed quickly by most of the pack in short order.

A great run that kept the pack together for most of the hour, and one which was just the right length for our fit or less than fit members. ET, you know who you are.

Good job Tinks!

The Circle:

At 8.40 Kiwi calls the circle and has a host of Amah nominations including Haggis, Moose, Ice Dancer, Caligula and Ali (you will never be a Southsider) McBeal. Caligula gets the call and Ali (you will never be a Southsider) McBeal is appointed assistant.

Amahs dressed and greased

HM	starts the circle in the usual way with the Hare Tinkerbell being verbally abused by all especially for allowing his honourary gentleman to illustrate the trail with various non- standard markings and setting the 120 steps down check with smiley faces.
HM	Continues with Hugh What for eagerly getting into his kilt in the hope someone might want to know he is wearing beneath it
HM	The Scots Ice, Haggis and STFU are next in, just because they are Scots and therefore need abusing
HM	Rearender is castigated for saying the run was too short but is then given the floor by HM
Amahs greased
RE	Immediately has his revenge by calling in HM Smallbone for something I missed due to watching a great ass walking past but ended with what the hell were you thinking of?
RE	Jack off is reminded that he was "all by myself" very late last week when he called RE to see if he wanted to join him for a drink or two.
HM back in charge
HM	Boilers welcome return was due to him mistakenly thinking Rearender was in fact the somewhat more attractive Rearender from a lesser Hash
HM	The usual culprit Squeak is joined this time by STFU and Kiwi Sausage for the sin of no Hash gear
KS now takes over
KS	Hash virgin Toby is in for stupidly asking Kiwi Sausage where he was from!!
KS	Hugh What is overheard promising HM he can have it!!!! Make up your own minds!
HM back again
HM	Kiwi is abused for having to resort to a PDA to remember his charges, mere pen and paper obviously not good enough for this hi tech executive.
Amahs greased
HM	The RA Saddle is given a nod of approval for the OK weather on the run
HM	Emmaroyde - permanent grin due to his honourary gentleman being out of town for a very long time. The ladies of Wanchai are looking forward to a windfall
HM	Hugh What and Haggis are in next for wearing excessively loud and bright shoes
Haggis now asks for the floor
Haggis	Reminds the Hash of his recent stay in hospital by presenting the Hash with an engraved but used Piss Pot which HM Smallbone is invited in to christen
HM back in charge
HM	Returnees Moose, Caligula and STFU
HM	Virgins - Toby brought along by Pussyfoot but still says he will return as the rest of the hash seem like good blokes. (ed: seems everyone knows what a wanker PF is...)
HM	ET is in for telling crap jokes, not his 1st offence on this charge
HM	ET remains and is joined by Dribble for being masters of short-cutting
HM	Coco despite having a torch is unable to figure out how to use it
Tinks is now given the circle
Tinks	Our run counting statistician informs the Hash that Camel has completed 300 runs
HM	The non-runners STFU, Haggis and Kiwi Sausage are up next
Amahs greased
HM	ET for using the curb rather than pay for parking
HM	Saddle for wearing his last suppers gear on the wrong date of the month
Hugh What steps in
Hugh What	Cabbage is charged for riding hard on his missus whilst in the car, at least that's what I think he said
Finally
KS	HM Smallbone and Moose are invited in for something to do with a certain Japanese honourary gentleman from a lesser Hash
Amahs degreased

Circle Closed

Circle closed and the arrival of excellent fish and chips underlined a good night had by all with a fairly large contingent enjoying the pleasures to be had in Wanchai later that evening

Awards... still in crisis mode:

Sports Section:

Unfortunately we couldn't find many pornographic fairies or humping Peter Pans so for no other reason than I happen to like team sports and this is the sports pages here are a couple of our favourite teams

ANYONE FOR A GAME OF VOLLEYBALL!!!!!!

Link of the week:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/swimsuit/collection/athletes/

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