Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1655

Hareline:

The Pre-Run:

Arriving at the run site STFU was met by Camel and Squeak who were trying to decide if the scribbles on the side of a bin were the start or merely directions to the start. It was decided that a quick recce round the park was in order as there was no sight of the hare at this point. Having been joined by Kiwi Sausage, the small group fanned out across the park but found nothing at all so returned to the bin where Camel made an executive decision that the sitting area above was much better suited for a start/circle point.

Saddle, returnee Anus, Martin (you know last weeks chuck up star) and a late arriving Jack off made up the smallish pack.

The Run:

The pack received starting instructions via a phone call to Camel as Ice was still out laying trail at this point.

Out the park, turning left and a short distance to the first check. Late arriver (no markings to the start) Jack Off found STFU at this point. A bit of backtracking and the true trail was quickly found as it turned left again along a fence and the outer edges of the park. The trail wound in and out of the park, adjoining streets, and housing areas with several checks that served to regroup the entire small pack. A particularly challenging and long check near a local temple found the pack struggling to find trail before Anus discovered trail along an overlooked, but obvious uphill path.

The run now set a more stretched out phase with a major road crossing and long slog up towards a housing estate. Saddle ran past an inviting left hand turn that back runners like Squeak and Anus decided looked better than continuing uphill.

This older section of the run will be recalled by many of the Southside as it first descended and then wound about past a now former squatters village. Now the trail straddles the torn down village and a series of massive apartment complexes. This nice section of trail will in the future be remembered by the large number of snarling dogs that nipped and barked at the pack from the ruins of the village. Ice must have really had fun setting this part of the trail, as noted by his F�Eng Dogs comment scrawled on the concrete!

Another nasty check in this section caught the now front runners Kiwi, Saddle and Martin and resulted in lead changes before the pack emerged at the highway and, what the pack thought was the return home. Intermittent good and few markings were found to confuse the pack.

Crossing a major highway, the trail naturally curved through and around another housing estate where, instead of then turning left towards home, it went right. Uh oh.

Another series of estates, overpasses and major highway and the pack seemed to be again heading in the right direction. But, a strategic check sent the pack right, and up a curving road away from home and there to find, a "set of stairs".

Now, at this point, the run was nearly 50 minutes long and the pack was very tired and starting to get dehydrated. The obvious thing to do would have been to jog downhill and find the On Home trail�Ewhich Camel probably did since he disappeared. But, the balance of the pack decided to carry on. The trail, and stairs turned left and up. The stairs turned out to be in the neighbourhood of about 400, or maybe more, which killed whatever remaining energy the pack still had.

At the top of the stairs a check turned the pack left again, past beautiful views of Tsing Yi, where the trail (logically) then stepped down several hundred more stairs, thru a park, and then over and thru a series of overpasses. Kiwi got disoriented somewhere at this stage allowing Martin, STFU and Jack Off to get ahead. Saddle also disappeared, apparently having a minor hash crash.

STFU and Jack Off managed to correctly decipher, with few markings, the trail home and finally found the in-bound park trail where Jack Off and Martin jogged for home and STFU lingered to watch the female tennis players.

Camel was apparently first back after short-cutting. Jack Off and Martin arrived in at 1:20. The rest of the pack trickled in over the next 10 minutes or so.

The Pre Circle:

Not much going on here except the arrival of non runners Pugak and Caligula to boost the numbers.

The Circle:

At 8.40 Kiwi calls the circle and nominates Ice Dancer and Martin for Amah but then surprisingly elects Camel as Amah for the evening

Amah dressed and greased
As acting HM, Kiwi was about to start his charges, when STFU decided he needed a symbol of Authority and presented him with Tommy Hilfiger rip off shirt covered in small American flags
KS	now resplendent in his silly shirt calls for an update on the awards and scribe Jack Off dishes the dirt on various miscreants who have been hoarding awards for far too bloody long including Squeak (Jesters hat) and Kiwi Sausage (the whip)
KS	Non runner Caligula and STFU really must teach their bed warmers that ambushing their respective other halves in Neptune's is not amusing and must cease.
Amah greased
KS	Ice Dancer is clearly having delusions of grandeur as he has been telling a number of the gentlemen that he will be the Tour Master on the forthcoming tour, yeah right!!!
Saddle is given the circle and starts the longest pre naming ceremony ever with the 1st of the seven sacraments administered via a plastic and funnel arrangement to Martin
KS	resumes with an unbelievable but true moment -- Squeak is in for being a FRB!
KS	next in are Ice Dancer and STFU for being representatives of Scotland which apparently is very violent country according to some survey
Amah greased
KS	Pugak or is it Pugey is in for despite being a referee and having vast knowledge of rugby is absolutely crap at predicting scores.
Pugak/Pugey takes over
PG	The scribes are called in for using two many flabby western women in the notes, we want nimble LBFM�s please
PG	Anus is his next target for something to do with annual bonuses. Can I have one please?
Back to KS
KS	Just as he thought Kiwi had forgotten Ice Dancer is pulled in for being the hare of this evening�s splendid well thought out, scenic challenging rural run!!! (shit) Sorry copied and pasted last weeks comments, what we really meant was a steaming pile of dog poo
KS	Squeak and Martin are reprimanded for no hash gear with Pugak making a fine side step due to having an unofficial but splendid union jack top adorned with an official RS2H3 logo.
	Saddle jumps in with the second sacrament for Martin during the process of which Squeak was charged for pretending he a big dick
Saddle continues
SD	Kiwi Sausage is called in for something to do with Jona Lumo being in town to help the Japanese bid for 2012 World Cup
SD	Kiwi stays in, this time for taking an ugly bird with him to Guilin just to save money as she was from the area and negotiated discounts on their hotels, meals etc. (and probably his other needs too�E
SD	Ice Dancer is applauded for setting only his second semi decent run in 12 years, but we were only kidding
Kiwi takes over again:
KS	Tinks our numbers man must be getting distracted recently as he has screwed up at least twice Run counts. (Methinks Apple is pushing his calculator buttons)
KS	Anus is castigated for only having 34 runs since 2000 and not being on autopay, CHAOS ensues as various dates are challenged by the pack with something like 1993 4 or 6 being the right year not 2000. Sorry I couldn�t make sense of what was being said.
Saddle	Saddle now administers the third and fourth sacraments to Martin
Kiwi with power going to his head decides that he will ask various pack members to dish out a charge
1st up is
Pugak	Camel must be the world�s top salesman, as now is now in his third job where he can sit around all day doing nothing but getting a sun tan, shagging and coming to various hash runs
Caligula	STFU something to do with Celtic tightness
STFU	Martin for letting his maid put something different in his mouth and for cutting his finger whilst making a sandwich, I mean what is he doing, he has a maid and a wife and he is making his own sandwich!!!
Squeak	Ice Dancer for f@cking up the run start
Saddle	Saddle is now in full flow again with the 5th and 6th sacraments for Martin
Kiwi takes back control and nervously notes the arrival of the HM watching from the edge of the circle
KS	Pugak/Pugey, Caligula and Anus are called in for having a private circle and resembling the three stooges
KS	Saddle is asked if he wants help from Camel as he seems unable to make his honourary gentleman pregnant
Amah greased
Having spotted the arrival of the HM, Pugak/Pugey interrupts to present him with aforementioned Union Jack top, which the HM proudly wears (well at least until he can burn it or use it to wipe his car with).
HM	having watched the general chaos which has descended upon the circle, Smallbone fires his stand in, Kiwi Sausage and gives out one charge of his own to Ice Dancer for still thinking he may run the hash one day

Circle Closed

Amah degreased and Circle closed.

Awards: (Back into Crisis Mode)

Sports Section:

Down below
After her sixth child, Jane decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her barn doors were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with six children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab. Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them."
"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks".
"Ahhh, that's really nice," said Jane.
"The second is from ! your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!".
"Brilliant!" said Jane. "And the third".
"That's from Eric, a patient in the burns unit," said the nurse. "He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, were a Kiwi guy (Spiderman), an Australian bloke (Ali McBeal), a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss girl.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, Spiderman has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: That Kiwi guy must have groped the blond in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde thinks: That Kiwi guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.

Spiderman thinks: That Australian bloke must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

Ali McBeal thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack that fucking Spiderman again.

Links of the Week:

http://www.latindreamgirls.com
http://www.world-porn.net

Disclaimer: There are many controversial subjects related to the newsletter. For instance, the newsletter contains comments, pictures, figures, etc about whatever the scribes feel like including. This fact does not imply we support, agree, or like them.

Any opinion expressed by anyone about a controversial subject is to be considered his/her own personal opinion, not the opinion of anyone else. The fact that some images may be used in other websites or other media should not be considered as an endorsement by the scribes for any opinion expressed nor of the images posted herein. You have been warned.