Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1662

Hareline:

The Pre-Run:

Squeak and STFU were the first to test their chalk/flour finding skills (needed to be f@cking Sherlock Holmes) and eventually found their way out of the station and along the sewer to the play ground, although it took a sharp eyed Coco to spot the start marking.

Whilst these three pondered why the hell the hare had not selected the larger, better lit, equipped with toilets and plenty seating public sitting out area just across the road, Cabbage, Kiwi, Smallbone and Tinks arrived. The hare was no where to be seen and the time was now 6.45pm. Occasional visitor Captain Pubic hair and One armed Bandit were joined by a late arriving Smegma, Emmaroyds, Ice Dancer and Caligula.

An executive decision was made to f@ck the hare and move to the adjacent site anyway and at around 7pm the pack followed STFU off up a small alley where he had sniffed out the on on without the help of the non-attendant hare.

The Run:

The alley led through Fo Tan Village and up some steps to Sui Wo Road where the 1st check caught Captain Pubic hair and STFU with Cabbage leading Smallbone et al back down through Fotan Industrial area, and out the back to Kwai Tei New Village where the On On calls of Cabbage set off half of the HK dog population.

The trail then led through the village and up into the valley along a well made up path, well at least until the landslip where much grasping of well placed small trees and bushes led the pack down the land slip and then back up again to continue to the check right which led up and over Kau To Shan and then surprisingly back down again this time through the woods. Much cursing could be heard form Coco who hates the downhill shiggy and especially when he conceded ground to the charging Kiwi Sausage (well proportioned for rapid downhill descent) ok fat bastard. Captain Pubic hair and Cabbbage led the group eventually down the path to Ma Niu Village, down yet more steps to Royal Ascot and a gentle jog back along and through the KCR to Fo Tan!!!

Apart from trying to find the start, an enjoyable trail, taking from 45mins to 1hr 10 except for the torchless Smegma and the handicapped Caligula who eventually arrived in jst under 1hr 45mins.

The Pre Circle:

Much discussion took place about the merits of setting the Hare off to find the aforementioned late finishers and just as Pussyfoot thought he should, they walked in. One Armed Bandit was extolling the virtues of having four wives, while ET was more interested in how young they might be and Kiwi was explaining how his physique suited charging down hills, at least he kept his top on tonight.

Ok not much here as your scribe was pre-occupied with trying to find his newly purchased torch and watching some rather attractive local wildlife passing by.

The Circle:

At 8:30 Kiwi calls the circle at a somewhat late 9:10 due to the late finishers.

Nominations for Amah included Captain Pubic Hair, Ice Dancer and the hare before Hugh Watt was was given the honour.

Circle Closed

To be 6 again
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.
What a day ! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what was it like being six again ??
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
I meant my Dress Size, you idiot !!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

Sports Section:

xx

Link of the Week:

None... A Special treat this week... Six Girls

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.." The husband is sceptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse .. no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."

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