Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1667

Hareline:

Getting ready for the January Fat Boy Challenge...

The Pre-Run:

Hugh What was first on scene and called over a slightly puzzled STFU. A few minutes later Kiwi Sausage also needed guiding into the start point. As the Hare went back to redo the markings to the start he found Smallbone wandering around and all were eventually joined by Cabbage, Caligula, SOS and Rearender.

Only notable highlight of the pre run was a discussion about head torches (my family were miners you know) between SOS and Saddle as SOS put the thing on upside down after being heard verbally abusing his poor young wife of 8 months for not packing his torch (lazy b@stard). Several minutes after the Pack set off Pussyfoot arrived and would soon regret having had that last minute hand wank that had made him late.

The Run:

The hare briefed the pack simply, 'if you go off trail you are f@cked, a map will be left at A should you get lost, however it won't help you if you are lost!'

Ominously the start was at the bottom of a hill so there was a high chance the trail went up, which it did. The first check was at a Lam Tin Park with the trail going up through the park past the grannies in their zimmer frames with Cabbage leading the way. A slow climb to the top was greeted with a 2 way check which had the FRB's confused, and a canny little loop made them run a little bit further then the rest of the pursuing pack.

On clearing the check it was on out into the hills climbing too many steps, going up into the heavens - with a check half way up which briefly stalled the front runners, as the bastard hare laid the trail back from the check not forward of it (sneaky git).

After a bit of moaning the pack was back on trail running across the hill through semi-rough shiggy to the next vista check overlooking Lam Tin. A few of the pack thought going up was a good idea (it wasn't) as STFU eventually found the trail going across again to a f@ck-off vertical worn out step climbing to the top of the hill and the Wilson Trail check.

During this climb Cabbage, Smallbone and Kiwi passed by STFU who was apparently very whiffy. A 50/50 call at the next check, right or left – right was the call past the old Kai Tak radar reflectors heading toward Lai Yu Mun, with the trail heading down and some of the pack predicting a Junk Bay B. Another check on the hill however took the pack down some rough shiggy, slipping and sliding down to 'somewhere' below.

Now feeling very confident at the possible B location, the FRB's came upon a 'predictable' check by the hare either straight down the trail or down the steps onto the catch water where he had laid a similar run. Both were false as our cunning hare sent the pack back up the hill on a virgin trail through shiggy and brush, eventually topping out on the previous hill with many of the pack now wondering where the f@ck they were.

A check took them back along trail and a check back saved further climbing and, after a bit of searching, the pack found a brush trail leading to a graveyard in the middle of nowhere and to a run down hill past more graves to a village check.

Some of the pack felt they had seen the village before, other were totally lost, as the trail led right and to the 'on home' lead by Cabbage in around 70 minutes with Smallbone shortly after, and the remainder of the pack minus Pussyfoot who came in at 140 minutes expressing concern that some bastard on the run with chalk had marked a 'false trail' near the catch water steps making him run all the way into Po Lam (off trail). He was further 'upset' that he could not find a working phone to ring the hare to find out where the f@ck he should go so he had no choice but to rework the trail.......... tuff shit! Excellent trail.

Many thanks to Saddle

The Pre-Circle:

No idea what went on, too busy getting my breath back although I did see Caligula selling Santa hash tickets and briefly discussed the non running arrival Pugak move to Lamma. There was also some, well actually very little, concern as to Pussyfoot's whereabouts on the trail.

The Circle:

At 8:40 Kiwi calls the circle.

Rearender and Cabbage are offered up before STFU gets the call for his outrageous behaviour the previous week (did I do/say something, can't remember).

What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies!

Awards... always in crisis mode:

A couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about an African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When males reach a certain age, a string is tied around their penises and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked down at him and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed, and they tied a string and weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied. "Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"

"No, it's turned black."

Sports Section

Just another night in Wanchai

Link of the Week:

http://www.cameltoe.com

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

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