Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1669

Hareline:

This week's run brought to you by guest scribe - Hashmaster Smallbone.

The Pre-Run:

Smallbone was first on scene by catching the 17:45 ferry. This week's hare Pugak soon came strolling up with an ice cold Carlsberg for the HM. Co-hare Dangerman arrived not long after with the trolley to transport the bags to the "B" for this anticipated Lamma run.

The pack came filtering in on the next couple of ferries. A sizeable turnout showed up for what Pugak had called "The Last Good Run of 2005". Since Ice Dancer is setting this week's hash that title will likely prove correct. Other notable attendees were Captain Pubic Hair, Dr. Evil, who, by the way has now moved to Hong Kong. So we're likely to be seeing much more of him in the future... And, the Seaman Staines family, including son James and honorary gentleman Strokes Pussy Like a Man, or "SPLAM" for short.

The Run:

The hares briefed the pack by stating that the run would be about one hour, standard markings, etc., etc. One interesting note was that they had used glow sticks to mark the shiggy bits rather than the standard bog roll. (More on this later...) So off we went into Yung Shue Wan restaurant alley, only to immediately hit a checkback and then find trial leading up to the left. Pussyfoot, Saddle Sniffer, Seaman Staines, James and Capt. Pubic were leading the charge.

Since your stand-in scribe is writing this nearly a week after the hash, things are a bit hazy. The hares turned us around MANY times with several clever checks and checkbacks. With competitive bastard - Seaman Staines, 24 year old James and Captain Pubic Hair setting the pace, Ice Dancer was definitely struggling to keep up. Saddle was holding his own but his status as RS2H3 FRB was in jeopardy. Pussyfoot was heard to remark "F*ck me SB, where did all these runners come from?!" The trail wound all over the island with the pack being kept pretty well together up to the pagoda near the wind generator. At this point things began to splinter a bit. Tinks was passed during this bit as he had arrived late and been given some inside knowledge by the hares.

The trail wound down through the shiggy, up and over one final hill, before coming alongside the concrete plant and then on home to a great finishing spot near the temple at the far end of the village. First-in were CPH, Seaman Staines, James, Smallbone and Saddle. Spot-on at the one hour mark as promised.

A few others trickled in immediately after. Then there was a sizeable gap before SPLAM and Caligula came strolling in 20 minutes later claiming to have lost their way at the beach. This was somewhat dubious as SPLAM was heard to say "Well that was fun!" while looking pointedly at Caligula...

Smegma had arrived late and was doing a bit of the trail in reverse just so he could feel like he'd earned a couple of the beers.

Kiwi Sausage's usual tactic of loitering at the checks, letting others do all the work and saving his energy for the homeward sprint backfired on him. He was a bit too far behind the FRBs and lost his way near the pagoda. He, Dr. Evil and Ice Dancer finally came in at just under the two hour mark. Turns out Kiwi did in-fact have trouble finding trail because Dr. Evil and Ice dancer were having great fun collecting all of the glow sticks as they found them. Ice was going to a rave later and thought they might come in handy for picking up some 18 year old totty.
Kiwi: Next time you might try doing some work and you won't be left behind.

Well-done hares. A truly innovative, enjoyable good run in an area we know well. Perfect length and great location. Great last run for 2005.

On-On, SB

One of Santa's "other" Elves

I sneaked out of bed
On Christmas night
And what I saw
Nearly scarred me for life

Santa Claus was going to town.

I could see him
But he couldn't see me
Well he was banging my mum
Under the Christmas tree.

Santa Claus was going to town.

Have you been a good girl
Santa Claus said
Mum was down on her knees
Just nodding her head
Santa Claus was going to town.

I promise something special
That's what I heard him say
If you're a bad girl for Santa tonight
I'll be good to you Christmas day

Santa Claus was going to town.

He might be old
And he might be fat
But mum shouldn't knock back
An offer like that.

Coz Santa Claus was going to town.

Mum brung him a beer
And they stopped for a while
Then he spun her around
And done her puppy dog style.

Santa Claus was going to town.

Then I heard him say
Your pearl necklace's coming
And I thought to myself
You're a lucky girl Mum.

Santa Claus was going to town.

Can't wait to see on Christmas day
What Santa brings for Mum
Coz I heard him promise her anything at all
If she'd take it up the bum

Santa Claus was going to town.

I wonder what Dad's
gonna say
When he sees Mum's presents
On Christmas day

Santa Claus was cumming
Santa Claus and Mum and
I saw Mummy sucking Santa Claus
Santa Claus was going to town.

The Pre-Circle:

The Circle:

Having arrived late.... And no-one else taking notes.... The circle is well underway. Things are jumping. Apparently a local tart has taken off her top for the boys at the suggestion of SPLAM . But, circle notes will thankfully be abbreviated this week...

Awards... always in crisis mode:

Special Award.... Something small and pink from Pugak to Ice - his lost beer condom. Then it gets lost again....
	The Co-Amah (James) F*cks off.
Grease the Amah
	Co-Amah returns and suggests 2 beer down down. Ok....
	Guests: Lots
	Squeak - no hash gear
	Returnees - Squeak, Seman Stains, Pugak, Strokes Pussy Like a Man, Captain Pubic Hair
	Jack Off & Captain Pubic Hair
Saddle's Circle:
	Tinks with Paris Hilton in Hot Water
	Captain Pubic Hair, Jack Off and Ice - it's the Equinox so small people cannot speak tonight
	Kiwi - interrupting
Grease the Amah
	The Missing Mug for TINKs Reappears !!!!!!
Grease the Amah x 2
	Caligula - for something
	Pugak - not shutting up
	Ice Dancer - for something
Grease the Amah
Pause..................
Deferred Circle
	Ice - Aberdeen run next week
Grease the Amah
	Late Comers - Jack Off, Tinks, Smegma, Ice
Grease the Amah
	Pugak - Cock Story
	SPLAM & Caligula - out doing something naughty together on the run (Sex on the beach?)
Grease the Amah
	Ice & Dr. Evil - Glow stick thievery
Tink's Circle:
	How many Johns - Captain Pubic Hair, Jack Off, Ice (too many for Elton John)
Smallbone takes over:
	Tinks - front running bastard
Special Awards Announcements:
	300 Runs Pussyfoot
	100 Runs Kiwi
Grease the Amah
	James - for something
Grease the Amah
	Pussyfoot hands one out to Ice for his running vest before the run
	Couple of more.... But its all a blur and unreadable
Circle Closed.

Sports Section

Link of the Week:

http://www.projectvoyeur.com

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality, pour yourself a cup to taste. 
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the 
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric 
mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Make sure 
that the Cuervo is smooth and still as good as the first time you 
opened it, pour a cup and taste.  Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat 
again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try 
another cup. Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 
leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick 
the frigging fruit off floor... Get some salt and pour yourself 
another cup of Cuervo.  Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets 
stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample 
the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. 
Check the Jose Cuervo.  Now shift the lemon juice and strain your 
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you 
can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to 
fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through 
the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

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