RS2H3 Run 1670

			Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1670

Run No:	1670
Date:	29 December, 2005
Location:	Aberdeen Praya
Hare:	Ice Dancer

Hareline:

Run No.	Date	Hare	Run Location
1671	1-January-06	Smallbone	Repulse Bay (Family Day run)
1672	5-January-06	Spit or Swallow	"Fat Boy Challenge"
1673	12-January-06	Dribble	TBA

The Pre-Run:

A larger than regular sized number (30+) of gentlemen and visitors got a pre-run warm-up by following what could be voted as the year's longest public transport (Aberdeen Main Bus terminus) walk to the START at the usual Sports Center water-front Praya venue next to the Ap Lei Chau bridge. At least it was well marked!

The large turn out, and wait for everyone to arrive, gave the pack plenty of time to catch up with returnees Dogbite, Camel. Balloon, Reggie, Vomit and visitors Tim (Dogbite's son), James (Seman Staines son), and two local visitors - Queen of England and Rick, both from HK.

The pleasant weather (thanks RA Saddle!) and Ice Dancer promise of the "Run of the Year" had the pack ready to head out for a great run.

Ice Dancer thoughtfully provided water and explained the chalked markings to old and new alike before setting the pack off at about 6:45 p.m.

The Run:

The pack headed out towards the Sports Complex and thru the adjoining children's playground to the first check. Immediately, the pack was compacted as Captain Pubic Hair, Smallbone, and other front runners took time to sort out the On On.

Heading towards the Aberdeen tunnel, another check and run-around mixed the pack up again before Smallbone and Jack Off found trail heading across the Ap Lei Chau bridge. After the slog across the bridge where Tim and James gave chase to the front runners, another check sent the pack into Yue On Court for a bit of weaving, climbing, descending and assorted checks. The pack lead again changed a number of times - finding even Jack Off as front runner for bit. The trail eventually took the pack, led by Saddle at this point, along the Ap Lei Chau Praya road before heading right into Lei Tung estates for more weaving, climbing, descending and assorted checks.

Again, more clever checks kept the pack together, with accompanying lead changes, for this well marked section of run. While most enjoyed these parts of the run, a few comments were overheard that the run was becoming a bit irritating.....

Late comers Camel and Pussyfoot added speed to the pack. But Pussyfoot and Cabbage (aren't they starting to look like twins these days......), in particular, aided Caligula in sorting out some of the more tricky bits. Wise man Seman Staines periodically held back to let the front runners do all the work.

Dogbite was looking a bit tired as even son Tim (minus a torch) kicked his butt along most of the housing sections. Speeding past, Pussyfoot complimented Jack Off that Turkey dinners hadn't seemed to inhibit his ability to almost keep up with the front runners.

The pack was momentarily relieved when the trail headed downhill, led by Captain Pubic, Haggis, Smallbone, and Camel, away from Yuk Kwai Shan (Mt. Johnson). However, this was short-lived as the pack was only to find, after another slog through the estates, that the 100+ steps awaited all. This section, as anyone that's run this ball buster section knows, only crosses the peak and descends down the other side, with another 80 or so steps. SOS and Dr. Evil particularly loved this section.... while Balloon commented that they certainly didn't have much of this in Angeles City...

Hitting the bottom of the steps, the pack went left and, unfortunately for Cabbage, not down to the road right thru the trees as Caligula guessed. Instead, the trail turned left onto the mountainside for a bit of slipping and sliding before hitting a steep down hill and long section of rusty metal steps being used by workmen to get to/from Le Nam Road and the final right turn towards home. Front runners Pussy, Smallbone, Captain Pubic and others scooted down the steps while the others followed closely behind.....

DISASTER

At this point, Seman Staines was heard to say something about "You could really hurt yourself here", and the next second he fell into a gap between the steps - severely slicing open his lower leg and causing an immediate halt to the run. Yells to the pack on the road for Emergency Services and running efforts to catch taxi's were made while Dr. Evil, Jack Off, Cabbage, Camel and others attended to Seman Staines.

Pussyfoot ignored calls for assistance, thinking it was all a clever plot to gain the lead, and so off he went....

After destroying two t-shirts to bind the wound, Seman Staines was led down the rest of the stairs to the road where Camel and Smallbone supported him to a barrier gate. After gently putting Seman Staines into the backseat of the cab, Jack Off was thrown into the front (a bit of dwarf tossing here...) with a mobile phone and money for a quick trip to Queen Mary Hospital. There a 210 minute estimated wait was forecasted after a Tetnus shot and initial triage. Eventually, son James arrived with kit in hand. Soon after, Seman Staines retired to Connessta Hospital for the rest of the night.

Back to the Run

Not that it matters..... but the run did continue.

The road trail now headed downhill towards the water, with a couple more checks and weaves thru the Ap Lei Chau shopping area before dumping at least 5 members of the pack onto the Ferry Pier. There, Ice was waiting, oblivious to the disaster, with cold beers, ferry money, and a ferry ride back to "A". A few members decided to carry on back across the Ap Lei Chau bridge to the bins.

No telling who came in first, but an interesting footnote. After taking Semen Staines to the hospital, getting him registered, standing around, talking to son James, cabbing it back to the bus terminus and WALKING back to the start, Jack Off STILL beat Reggie, and visitors Queen of England and Rick. So, at least he wasn't last.

The Pre-Circle:

The pack spent time waiting for the circle by catching up with returnees, seeking word on the status of Seman Staines, and discussing how bad votes would go for the Ice's run.... A big thumbs down was to be seen on a shelter pillar.

After the arrival of another case of beer, and everyone changed, Kiwi called the gentlemen to order for the circle at 8:50 pm for what was undoubtedly going to be a long circle.

Nominees, of which there were many, included Pussyfoot, Reggie and Dogbite.

The winner - Dr. Evil to be assisted by Camel.

The Circle:

Hashmaster Smallbone jumps right to business:
Grease the Amah
	(editor's note: The above term was intended to apply to both the Amah and helper. However, the helper was often smart enough to avoid partaking and thus allowed the primary Amah to fully enjoy his opportunities).
	Ice - shit run, worst run of the year, not enough hills, not enough shiggy, only one person got hurt, etc. etc.
	Reggie, Balloon, Camel, Vomit, Dr. Evil and Dogbite - Returnees
Grease the Amah
	Saddle - weather was excrement. Good job.
	Break while Reggie performs multiple hurling feats into the channel. Obviously, can't stand the excitement or the pace.
	Vomit - Reggie stole his thunder
	SOS - has a picture of Vomit (the older gentlemen) on his wall. Why?
	Kiwi - Having a one-sided conversation with Smallbone about the one thing he has always wanted in life was a ride in an ambulance. Coulda had it tonight if it had arrived 2 minutes earlier.
Kiwi's circle:
Grease the Amah
	Pussyfoot - thought yell for ambulance was a trick
	Smallbone, Dogbite, Pugak - something about Kiwi's weekly ritual of separating birthday cake man shagging sheep, followed by Amah, putting them back together, followed by another Amah that comes over and separates them again
	Dr. Evil and Jack Off - complaints about not enough waitresses in Bangkok airport First Class lounge followed by "I think we are going to get thrown out of here".
	Pussyfoot - likes to play with it, but will cut it off on New Year's Day
	Reggie and SOS - Both lost dinner, but only one wanted 2 more helpings of Chips. New way to lose weight.
	Pugak - almost had date with WT
Smallbone's circle again:
	Pugak - Non-Runner
Grease the Amah
	Visitors - Queen of England and Rick - both from HK
Grease the Amah
	Tim and Rick - Virgin's
	SOS - First Chair Trumpet for HK Phil who did a remarkable job with his "lip control and stamina". He also played the coronet well.
SOS's circle:
Grease the Amah
	Cabbage, Pussyfoot, Kiwi - Competitive FRB's. Forget the ambulance, they wanted to jump in a cab to get ahead/win.
	Dr. Evil - Color of choice for hiding FAT is black so this FB takes off his black vest for a colorful shirt that shows his true state.
	Vomit - Dress like this guy next week. Bring a sack. Demonstrate how to drink now.
	Kiwi - FO neckie
Smallbone's circle again:
	DOG FIGHT NEAR THE PACK
	Dogbite - Dog substitute
	SOS - New challenge. Good luck.

Awards... always in crisis mode:

Award	Awarded By	Awarded To	Date Awarded	Retained by	Weeks Held
Porcelain Penis (Malou friend)	STFU	Ally McBeal	28-April-05	Ally McBeal	35
Dick of the Week (aka MOTW)	Tinks	Pussy	29_Dec-05	Pussy	-
Bullshit (Cowbell)	Saddle	STFU	8-Dec-05	STFU	3
Whip	Pussyfoot	Saddle	22_Dec-05	Saddle	1
Mu-mu Shirt	Kiwi	Cabbage	8-Dec-05	Cabbage	3
Snoopy with Orange Hat	Rearender	Haggis	7-May-05	Haggis	32
7's Tits Out	Smegma	ET	7-July-05	ET	20
Jester's Hat*	Dogbite	Squeak	4-Aug-05	Squeak	19
Pansy Pants	Smegma	Dr. evil	22-Dec-05	Dr. Evil	1
Special Shirt	Caligula	Ice	22-Dec-05	Ice	1
Smart Ass Shirt	SOS	Tinks	16-Dec-05	Tinks	2

Grease the Amah
	Saddle - One time "lost headlamp" award from Tinks
Smallbone's circle again:
	Rick, Captain Pubic, Camel - No hash gear
	Squeak - First time in memory HASH GEAR
Grease the Amah
	Jack Off - Scuba gear
Kiwi's Circle:
	Ice - Short time
	Ice - Nana Plaza drinking beer instead of being a hare
	Guess the Southsider Game
	Pussyfoot - Don't see you down here very much Jack Off
	Recent Mug Award Winners... before things got messy Photo courtesy of GASP©
Grease the Amah
Smallbone's Circle:
	Dogbite - used to be most fit member, but 5 meter hill's on treadmill obviously have not maintained his level
	Ice - billed as last good run of the 2005 year last week. Generally crap markings tonight, but good for you. Too bad it's a shite run.
	Jack Off - Not last in
	Reggie - Last in
	Reggie - Concerned about losing weight and has now started an instant weight loss program of dumping at run's first playground then chundering at the finish
	SOS - try it next week
Grease the Amah
Pugak's Circle:
	Smallbone and Ice - disturbing the following down down
	Jack Off and Caligula - pedantic story telling so came back to avoid shite write-up
Kiwi's Circle again:
	Haggis and Jack Off - One doesn't like porn and the other missed the WT on Lamma last week
Grease the Amah
Smallbone's Circle:
	SOS - Great solo that gained him $12K for 15 minutes. Still can't compete with the ladies in Wanchai.
	Haggis - Jack Off posts run information so Haggis calls Tinks to get picked up for run at home, but bus that only costs $6 HK stops there too. Cheep bastard!
	Pugak - Thanks for last week
Pugak's Circle again:
	Queen of England and Rick - gambling and betting on the hash
Grease the Amah
	Camel - invitation to go golfing but no reservation in Shenzen. Also mention of Kiwi - afraid of opposition so won't show
Grease the Amah
	Pugak, Captain Pubic, Dr. Evil - All the bald people
Smallbone's circle:
	Pussyfoot - WT pulling power will be gone next year
	Dr. Evil - Moved to HK. Horrifying, but thank you. Enjoy being Amah for next 6 months.
	ET - 1st cracker of the night.
	Balloon and Squeak - Look alikes
Balloon's circle:
	Camel - tourmaster, but no tours to Angeles City.
	Camel - Announcement - CNY tour to Angeles City
	DOG FIGHT NEAR THE PACK
	Dogbite - look alike substitute
	Dogbite tells a long joke....... Pack votes it lousy.
Grease the Amah
Smallbone's Circle:
	Dr. Evil and Jack Off - don't perpetuate the gay hash rumors by kissing on public ferry's
Grease the Amah
Circle Announcements & Misc Circle DD's
	Cabbage - Fat Boy Challenge particulars and warnings
	Smallbone's Circle again:
	050 - bloody close to being last in tonight
Grease the Amah
	Next run - Repulse Bay & Stanley Bash
Grease the Amah
	Ice - On On at Kangaroo
	Saddle awards Dogbite - dog that ran thru circle is better looking than Malou
Pussyfoot tries to have a circle, without success
Saddle awards The Amah's - made beer go so, it's like Jesus with the loaves and fishes
Smallbone again:
	Caligula - When MM shows up at Repulse Bay remember it's you that invited that B*
Grease the Amah
	Smegma - 1st DD. Still whispers into hashmaster's ear.
SOS' circle:
	ET & Smegma - two old comedian twats. Drink you miserable b*'d's. Your mom loves sex with me.
De-Grease the Amah
Last circle of 2005 finally closes The On On.... Kangaroo Down Under, Connestta Hospital, and other assorted locations.......

Sports Section

Who is that and with whom?
Photo courtesy of GASP©

Ok, ok, enough WT for the moment. The scribes understand the gentlemen's proclivity for something more of an Asian flavor. So, with a thank you to a fellow scribe from an un-named Hash.... ENJOY!

"Remember, Christmas isn't over until all the presents are unwrapped"

Link of the Week:

(As if you really need any....)

http://voyeur-russian.com
http://jap-cams.com

Announcements:
None this week

Health Warning: Hashing will most likely offend you and will definitely affect your Health. You may die while on a Hash or as a result of associating with Southsiders or by just crossing the road in Wanchai. The Southside accepts no responsibility for any accident, injury or death to you or anyone else. You have been warned.

On On STFU & Jack Off

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