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| Royal Southside Hash
Trash - Run 1671
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| Run No: | 1671 |
| Date: | 1, January 2006
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| Location: | Repulse Bay |
| Hare: | Smallbone |
Hareline:
| Run No. |
Date |
Hare |
Run Location |
On-On |
| 1672 |
5-January-06 |
Spit or Swallow |
"Fat Boy Challenge" |
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| 1673 |
12-January-06 |
Caligula |
TBA |
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| 1674 |
19-January-06 |
ET |
TBA |
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| 1675 |
26-January-06 |
Kiwi |
1st ANZAC Day Run (most likely Cheung Chau) |
Morroco's Indian Restuarant |
The Pre-Run:
The beach front patio area looked fairly well covered with gentlemen, honorary gentlemen, visitors and children when your scribe arrived shortly before 2 p.m. As is usual for this annual event, even long lost Southsider's
and potential wanna be's were to be seen.
Pussyfoot was wasting no time trying to secure some close up time with SLAM, who was apparently trying to get some rest. And, despite the outstanding weather conditions - Some of the pack looked a bit "rough", having obviously partied hard the night.... Errr ... into the early morning hours before. However, Kiwi really took the prize when he finally showed up, sometime after 2. This man had obviously been having a good time....
Saddle arrived with Wetback in tow, claiming that he had been sick.
Lots of others too - Camel, Dogbite, Haggis, Cabbage (with wife and one child), Whippy (!), SOS, Captain Pubic, Ice, Pugak, Tinkerbell, Smegma, Pussywhipped (!), Dribble, ET, Dr. Evil, Seaman Stains, Anus (late !), Balloon (late!), 050, and Caligula. And yes, your co-scribe Jack Off too...
With day getting shorter, Smallbone finally gathered the fit, hungover, pretending to run, clearly not going to run, visitors, WH3 hashers (minus Motormouth!) and locals over to see the markings. And with a "it's down to the temple and turn left", the pack was off but not before ET gets off his first "cracker" of the New Year.
The Run:
Haggis clearly must have been lurking on the outside because he was definitely the front runner thru the crowded beachfront temple and right onto Beach Road. Pussyfoot, Camel, and Captain Pubic Hair finally caught him, and he slowly settled into the boundaries of the front runners. Visiting Fannysniffer and Jack Off kept pace while Dogbite struggled to keep up the initial fast spurt.
An early split up the usual long downhill path and steps from Repulse Bay Road sent the Wimps left and the Rambo's Right. A crafty check at the turn towards from MiddleBay to Southbay Beach found Amah Moron, Jack Off, Ice, James (son of Semen Stains), and others struggling to find the On On. It wasn't up the long stairs or left across a tiny bridge. Nor was it
around a fence. It was just a FU check.
So, the lead changed hands and the pack ran to Southbay Beach and the Mullet uphill climb that turns left and parallels Chung Hom Wan Bay. This tricky bit kept the pack on their toes and separated the hung over or fit from the rest.
Emerging from a fence at the end of the trail, the run turned left along Chunk Hom Kok Rd and again left on Repulse Bay road where it met up with the Wimps trail. SOS and SLAM were struggling a bit here and Ice and others had disappeared into the front. The trail crossed the road and proceeded up the
steep stairs to the catch water where a "stupid" arrow right caught Haggis, Tinkerbell and a couple of others in a very long check back. Locals should know better...
The catch water was, fortunately, no more than a long slog back to Repulse Bay. The Rambo's passed various Wimps including Dribble with daughter, and Cabbage with wife (but no child....) before turning left and down the easy shiggy path and along the road to the bins. A one hour run as promised.
Good job hares!
The Pre-Circle:
The warm sun, mulled wine, bloody mary's, minced pies, ample supply of beer and softies, and lots of company made for a nice party before the circle. The arrival of latecomers and more beer added to the festive mood. Too bad it had to end!
At 4:23 p.m. Kiwi tried to call the circle to order. Fat chance. And, to make matters worse, he made the mistake of referring to the honorary gentlemen as ladies. Nearly unforgivable.
Trying again, Kiwi got a better response a few minutes later.
Nominee's for Amah included - Mr. Whippy, Ice, Pussyfoot and Camel. But, the winner was Balloon and his aide (injured) Semen Stains. They were to be further assisted by WH3 honorary Gentlemen Big P and Wilma.
The Circle:
| Hashmaster Smallbone jumps right to business:
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| Gentlemen, shirts up!
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| Kiwi - James was the roughest looking man in HK until Kiwi showed up.
Apparently arriving home at 5 a.m.
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| SPLAM - The clear winner. Arrived home at 10 a.m. today
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| Hares - Reggie and Smallbone. Worst run of the year, depending upon how you want to vote.
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| Grease the Amah
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| Saddle - excellent weather
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| Velcro Lips and G-Spot (which is which?) - visiting in Tai Po this past week and advised the Hashmaster, who had been out hiking, that they had been wearing the same underwear for several days now....
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| Grease the Amah
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| ET gets off his second cracker of the year after Smallbone guesses at the number of stitches Semen Stains received from Thursday's night crash (14 or 13.5 depending on whether you want it to be a mistake or not...)
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| Semen Stains - gonna sue you. No you won't... (get ready for it....) "You don't have a leg to stand on".
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| Grease the Amah
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| Reggie - The Reggie weight loss program is to dump at the start of the run, chunder afterwards, then chunder again after a down down. Results - 16 to 15 stone in one evening.
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| Bog - try's to provide a cracker of his own. On in ET, only one that can give out crackers
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| Non-Runners - Burl Ives, Mr. Whippy, Pugak, Shithouse, Saddle, Dominatrix, Wetback
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| Awards .... Gets stalled.
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| Grease the Amah
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| James - Almost looked rougher than Kiwi. Stupidly moved to HK and prowling in the Wanch got confused. Asked Dad (Semen Stains) which one should I take home. Response - take them both son. Next morning, 3 on the couch.
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| Pugak - stealing thunder
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| New Year's Tradition - Former Hashmaster Down Down's to the Pack
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| Dribble's Circle:
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| Grease the Amah
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| Tinkerbell - Turned right at the top of the catch water. Should know better.
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| ET - Following Dribble with his ladies entourage
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| ET's circle:
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| Grease the Amah
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| (ET never bores anyone..)
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| Ice - Most generous man in the circle, got ET a beer
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| ET steps out, steps in, and has a beer for doing so.
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| Bone Crusher - Old China Hand fisticuffs on NYE. Most violent man in the circle today.
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Awards... always in crisis mode:
| Award |
Awarded By |
Awarded To |
Date Awarded |
Retained by |
Weeks Held |
| Porcelain Penis (Malou friend) |
STFU |
Ally McBeal |
28-April-05 |
Ally McBeal |
36 |
| Dick of the Week (aka MOTW) |
Pussyfoot |
SoS |
1-Jan-06 |
SoS |
- |
| Bullshit (Cowbell) |
Saddle |
STFU |
8-Dec-05 |
STFU |
4 |
| Whip |
Pussyfoot |
Saddle |
22_Dec-05 |
Saddle |
2 |
| Mu-mu Shirt |
Kiwi |
Cabbage |
8-Dec-05 |
Cabbage |
4 |
| Snoopy with Orange Hat |
Rearender |
Haggis |
7-May-05 |
Haggis |
33 |
| 7's Tits Out |
Smegma |
ET |
7-July-05 |
ET |
21 |
| Jester's Hat* |
Dogbite |
Squeak |
4-Aug-05 |
Squeak |
20 |
| Pansy Pants |
Smegma |
Dr. evil |
22-Dec-05 |
Dr. Evil |
2 |
| Special Shirt |
Caligula |
Ice |
22-Dec-05 |
Ice |
2 |
| Smart Ass Shirt |
SOS |
Tinks |
16-Dec-05 |
Tinks |
3 |
| Whippy - smart ass comment
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| Grease the Amah
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| Semen Stains - hiking on a mystery island with Smallbone. Something about special Chinese women with smallest lips I have ever seen....
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| Mr. Whippy - a cracker and down down with Smallbone for previous down down.
(editors note: well it was funny when it happened, but not in this write-up)
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| Grease the Amah
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| Tink's Circle:
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| Doubles here... fairly quick (is Apple here?!)
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| Pugak - going wrong way ("That's what she said")
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| Camel & Fannysniffer - not knowing territory
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| Dr. Evil & Mrs. Goodness - following Tinks on the short-cut
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| Grease the Amah
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| Mr. Whippy's Circle:
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| 14 years of tradition.... Sun, mulled wine, mince pies... so where are the bucks fizzes?
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| Hares - no Bucks fizz
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| Grease the Amah
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| Caligula - invited shirts up but is not Hashmaster ... and certainly won't be in April either
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| Smallbone offers a segway...
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| James and Smegma both looked miserable today, but still competitive as Smegs beat James. He also short-cut heavily...
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| Camel's Circle:
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| Happy New Year !
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| SOS - false statements. Not a fast runner or fit.
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| Dribble, Smegma, ET and SOS's mom - all beat SOS
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| Classic Statements....
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| Ice - get it right next run. Beer, T&A, and food last.
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| Haggis & Wet Nurse - I'm not SOS. I've got a plan. You are DEFINITELY not SOS.
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| Chat Room Pedophile, Velcro Lips, Haggis, Saddle - all fell for check back towards the twins
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| Grease the Amah
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| Smegma's Circle:
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| Haggis - Home at 7:30 in his pajamas
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| Bog - switching
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| ET - playing golf in pajamas and a red car at 7:30
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| Wet Nurse - neckie regarding circle potential. No sex for Smallbone on Friday as a result
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| Whippy - stealing thunder
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| Smallbone - resolute in face of Wet Nurse danger.
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| Grease the Amah
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| Smallbone's Circle Again:
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| ET lets go yet another cracker... this one worse than usual
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| PK - bringing Muslim Virgin's to the hash - Emilia from Indonesia
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| De-Grease the Amah
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| Yet another cracker from ET
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| SPLAM & Pussyfoot - Beach attempt at sex, which doesn't work. Then, out on the run, they both disappear, but Pussyfoot shows up with scratches on his back and a smile on his face. SPLAM looks exhausted. Did she STROKES Pussy like a man?
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| Reggie's Award Attempt:
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| Dominatrix - girlfriends award. From Big P's hash bag. Use it whenever Pussywhipped is unavailable... most of the time.
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| Grease the Amah
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Saddle's Circle:
As the RA, it is time to administer the sacraments, of which there are up to 5.
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| Pugak - disrupting so gets the SUPER WILLIE down down while on his knees. Staggers out of the circle, quietly...
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| James - unnamed now for at least 2/3 runs. It is time... call in the family.
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| SPLAM, Semen Stains, James, and Pussfoot - family affair down down
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| James receives the first sacraments, administered by Wetback - baptism and confirmation before being temporarily released from the circle
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| Grease the Amah
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| Smallbone's circle again:
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| SOS & SPLAM - messed up down down regarding weight and going downhill. Supposed to be sex and can't go any further
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| Dr. Evil & Amah Moron - something
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| Amah Moron - tough night on the pot, today with roll of TP and clenched cheeks through-out the run
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| Grease the Amah
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| Pugak's Circle:
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| Grease the Amah
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| THIEVES Theme Down Downs
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| Captain Pubic - An Alien who can't tell truth. Watch - Where are the Wanchai hotels and girlie bars? I can't remember. DD. How much did you pay? I can't remember. DD. Where did you go? I can't remember. DD
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| G SPOT - Whose not married, paranoid, and sleeps with a pillow under his pillow ?
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| Ice - Who would go to Neptunes and ask Hash Cash to pay for his Tits.. errr drinks?
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| Ice - Who would whinge about not being asked to play golf last Friday?
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| Grease the Amah
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| Saddle resumes the christening:
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| Reggie - disturbing Saddle
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| Grease the Amah
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| James - DD while names are proposed, but no decision
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| Smallbone's circle yet again:
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| Balloon - attracting women here to HK to wine and dine. But, only bought her a 3X T-shirt for bed
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| George & SOS - older than SOS?
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| Malau - produces a knife for Saddle today. Dogbite better be worried she carries it.
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| Wet Nurse's Circle (WH3) who has sore throat from making up with Smallbone:
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| Bog & Page 3 - provided with EXPLICIT pictures of Bog & the Pool Boy, amongst others
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| As this is an anti-Maggie (Motormouth) event, WH3 has some gifts for the gentlemen, not Smallbone as his package is too big
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| Smallbone, SOS, Whippy, and Camel - awards test
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| Tinks - gets the black panties with special embroidery
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| Whippy - obnoxious
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| Jack Off - wins the striking pink pair of panties
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| Grease the Amah
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| Smallbone - just because
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| Smallbone - need a cooler with an attached lid (labeled a cheap DD)
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| Smegma's circle:
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| PK - yet another attachment
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| ET - for providing yet another classic cracker from the gallery
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| Bog - Black Tie event pass out. Definitely not Southside material
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| Dot Cum... runs away from her DD
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| Dogbite - Difference in Middle East sites? Sand
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| Saddle's circle again:
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| Dr. Evil - interrupting
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| Grease the Amah
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| James - receives a throat lubrication
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| Wet Nurse - over verbalizing from the gallery
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| Overheard...... Ice to SOS - $4 cheap
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| Grease the Amah
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| Pugak - messes up Saddle's naming
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| SPLAM, Semen Stains, Pussyfoot, James, Amah's and a few others - additional naming lubrication
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| And the name is..... ROGER the CABIN BOY (RCB)
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| Smallbone tries to resume control:
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| Saddle and RCB - not on autopay
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| RCB - congratulations
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| Pugak - getting married despite having been refused permission
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| Pugak's circle:
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| Anus - I consulted my lawyer and look what showed up. Gentlemen, he will protect you in the Philippines.
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| Grease the Amah
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| Smallbone's circle.... Again:
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| SOS - makes a living blowing. Makes mistakes in concert, yet reading the brochure which SOS surely wrote about himself, you wouldn't know this is the same guy. Lost the WH3 horn so we need to make him pay penance.
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| Saddle administers the sacrament thru the "horn". Saddle blows the horn's contents into SOS. That sounds weird....
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| Grease the Amah
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| Grease the Amah
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| Pugak & Dr. Evil - lost respect
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| Grease the Amah
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| De-Grease the Amah
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| Next Week's Run - Cabbage
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| Re-Grease the Amah
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| De-Grease the Amah
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First circle of 2006 closes
The On On....
Indian food in Stanley where 30 or so pay too much for too little and go away hungry or for more drinks at ChinaTown before heading for home and much needed sleep
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Sports Section
Link of the Week:
(As if you really need any....)
http://www.mrchewsasianbeaver.com
http://www.sweetnjuicey.com
| Announcements: |
|---|
| Don't forget the SOS Fat Boy Challenge Run. All real Southsider's won't miss it! |
Health Warning: Hashing will most likely
offend you and will definitely affect your Health. You may die while on a Hash
or as a result of associating with Southsiders or by just crossing the road in
Wanchai. The Southside accepts no responsibility for any accident, injury or
death to you or anyone else. You have been warned.
On On STFU & Jack Off
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