Royal Southside Hash Trash - Run 1690
Run No: 1690
Date: 4, May 2006
Location: Lord Buddha's Birthday
Kowloon Tong
Hare: Ice Dancer Bone Master

Big it up for Lord Buddha. 3035 years old on May 5th 2006

The Pre-Run:

There was much discreet changing as we had the pleasure of a lady, Woolly Bush in our midst, and being gentlemen we did nothing to embarrase the girl, apart from Spit or Swallow generating some booby envy by changing his shirt in full view of Ms. Bush, and Smallbone making the occasional innuendo laden reference to Camel Butt-fuck.

The Run:

An A-A run starting from the childrens playground on Cornwall street.

After a mindless loop by Festival walk, the trail climbed through the CityU, onto the main road and eventually climbed up via Crows Nest to Eagles nest and around clockwise to the Beacon Hill Service road and back to Cornwall Street. Anyone would think that Ice Dancer was trying to eliminate the competition ahead of the AGM. Having survived the traffic and wild dogs, and having Smegma kindly carry my torch for me, yours Spewly was back home in 1.5 hours, to find that most of the pack had been drinking beer for quite some time.

As the beer flowed and conversation began to flow, tales of short cuts and taxi rides begun to emerge. Shame. Shame.

After almost 2 hours on trail, Jellyfish and honorary geezer Woolly Bush (aka Banana Paradise from Shanghai) breezed in looking somewhat sweaty and disheveled. What they got up on trail is anybody's guess... Such was level of appreciation of the trail, that Rubber Dick took the time to check every falsie and savour the elegance of every daub of flour, and came home after 2h50min on trail.


The Pre-Circle:

A very well behaved and chivalrous band of gentlemen stood around and drank the few brownies that Squeak hadn't managed to get his non-running hands on. Kiwi Sausage nabbed BOTH remaining ice cubes from the bin to put on his knee. Irish Spew 'volunteered' to be scribe again as both STFU and Jack-Off are in exile, and the quest for a pen and paper began. Squeak could not be parted from his 'Shenzhen special' Mon Branc pen, so Mr Prepared Caligula managed to produce a biro from his utility belt, so that the notes could be scrawled on the back of a Heineken box.

After much discreet farting and polite conversation, Smallbone called the circle to order.

The Circle:

Nominations for Amah (this week we are back to Amahs, having tried Armours for a change last week): Jellyfish, ET, Squeak

Amahs:– Spit or Swallow and Pied Piper
Amahs greased
SoSfor being a dumb shit, and referring to the Amah's as Armours (WTF?) in notes 1689.
Smegma and his fine evolved sense of smell detected pussy, and a shirts-up test was undertaken. The honorary gentleman was identified, and Woolly Bush was awarded a down-down.
Ice DancerHare - in line with convention
Amahs greased
Irish Spewfor being an aspiring property magnate
Coco, ET, Rich, Colinfor being short cutting taxi riding bastards
Amahs greased
Rich 'Mr Bulky(*)' KozelFor having 5 gallon buckets of Creatine and Bulk up protein powder under his desk.
(*) Not YET his official Hash Name
Squeakfor having the impudence to point out that the HM was not standing in the centre of the circle.
Kiwifor suffering the indignity of being beaten home by the HM, despite being a competitive little shit.
Kiwi's circle
ETDiscreet farting and crap jokes.
Smegmathat moustache
Ice Dancerfor the 'really helpful' shortcuts that he gave to latecomer Kiwi.
Squeakfor being a Rubber Dick lookalike, to take a down-down on behalf of Rubber Dick for being still on trail.
Amahs greased
Squeakfor being sooo precious about his copy pen.
Irish Spew & SoSthe scribe and the would-be scribe.
Colinfor turning up because the rugby season is over.
Richfor continual references to SmallBRAIN and BONE Dancer.
BONE Dancerfor HM
Anuswalking downhill to the taxi, tsk tsk.
Caligulafor going to China and then spending the whole weekend 'eating Sushi'.
Rugby Ranking:
Irish SpewIreland being ranked higher than England.
ET & SmegmaEngland still being champions.
BONE Dancerfor next HM.
Smallbrainnot on committee
Smallbrain's circle
Amahs greased
2 more weeks of Smallbrain's reign as HM
Kiwi, Anus, Icedancer, Calligula & Squeakfor being the four possible HM candidates.
Smallbrainmistake for naming FIVE candidates
Visitors:Woolly Bush aka Banana Paradise from Shanghai (originally from HK)
Amahs greased
Spit or Swallowfor having the physique to displace Coco as the Buddha lookalike
Spit or Swallow's circle
Kiwi & Smallbrainfor not considering the only gay in the village for HM
Wolly Bush & Jellyfish for calling out 'Are You' in Romeo and Juliette style at every check
Kiwifor being so multicultural that he convinced Mrs SOS that he was a Cantonese speaker when on the phone from Fenwicks
Smegmafor having his name carved into the swings in the playground.
Smallbrain's circle
Spit or Swallow for being 'horny' again – the hash horn was recovered by BoneDancer from a pawn shop in Mongkok.
Jellyfish"Hey Babe don't I know you from somewhere?" Reply – yeah from your bed.
Amahs greased
Non-Runners:
Squeak & Caligula
Squeakfor being caught out with a water filled brown bottle.
No Hash Gear:
Squeak
Awards:
Bullshit AwardAwarded to Kiwi by Icedancer – something tenuous to do with ET's architectural knowledge. Best not go there
Amahs greased
Moo-moo ShirtAwarded to Coco by Kiwi for not having enough down-downs.
Disk of The WeekAwarded to Spit or Swallow for not getting his trousers on(?)
Jellyfish & Smegmafor sharing notes on moustache cultivation.
Amahs greased
Irish Spewfor bringing a veritable picnic on the XLong run in Guilin.
At which stage (9:45pm) Rubber Dick arrived back in off the run and was promptly given a down-down.
Amahs greased
Cocofor complaining about the length of the circle
Squeak for promising yet again to 'run next week'
wooly Bushtalking in the circle.
Smallbrainfor insisting that it was not possible for the pack to be at Thai Farmer, when in fact they were.
Bone Dancerfor chatting up the young boys before the run and offering them soft drinks.
Colincaught taxi.
Pied Piperrunning without a torch
Bone Dancerkilled rubber dick
Amahs greased
Irish Spewfor being a veritable bone fide Tong Fuk'er
Woolly Bushfor not allowing him to demonstrate
Amahs greased
ETtalking in the circle.
Amahs greased
Squeakdeclined his good wife's kind offer of bring him his hash gear because he was already drinking in Carnegies.
Bone Dancerfor being a shortarse
Woolly Bushfor being shorter than Ice
Amahs greased
Squeakjoined Amahs for a down-down.
Announcements:
Spit or SwallowHK Phil play Broadway Hits Sat/Sun 6/7 May City Hall – come and see how he got his piles.
Spit or SwallowSmallbrain and Irish Spew – joining the mile high club
Coco ET being a Cunning Linguist by reeling off his whole repertoire of Cantonese phrases to the taxi driver despite COLIN sitting beside him
Pied Piper ET for retiring to fart in privacy first before talking to Woolly Bush
Kiwi Rubber Dick for not having enough to drink
Next Week's RunHare Caligula – Start at Harbour Road Garden Wanchai..
Amahs greased
Rich 'Mr Bulky(*)' Kozelnot enough down downs by keeping quiet
(*) Not YET his official Hash Name
Irish Spewfor keeping his head down and avoiding downdowns.
ON-ON:
Bone DancerCompulsory On-On at Royal Arms.
Amahs Degreased

Porno Section

It has come to the pack's attention that certain among us are using performance enhancing drugs (other than the blue pills). Try to keep the bulk-up powders away from the woman in your life.
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

For some real quality tasteful young WT check out:
http://www.teeniesinaction.com/mcnudes.htm
For general enjoyment see
http://www.teeniesinaction.com/

Jokes Section

Check out
http://www.lotsofjokes.com


Health Warning: Hashing will most likely offend you and will definitely affect your Health. You may die while on a Hash or as a result of associating with Southsiders or by just crossing the road in Wanchai. The Southside accepts no responsibility for any accident, injury or death to you or anyone else. You have been warned.


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